Japan- Ishikawa- ✪✪✪

Tucked away near a Bushido temple in Shinjuku, tiny Ishikawa has an understated exterior shielding one of the world's friendlist and most interesting three-stars. Hideki Ishikawa is featured in Lutz Hachmeister's food documentary Three Stars (worth a watch, by the way) and describes in detail the hard work he invests to create not just a special experience for his guests, but a fantastic place to work for his staff as well. This was an excellent experience worthy of another visit- exceptional service, stellar food with incredibly fresh ingredients, and delightfully creative presentations.

Ishikawa Main Entrance

TOKYO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 8.5/10

FOOD: 8.0/10

PRICE PAID: $176 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 8.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 8.0/10

Ishikawa Main Hallway

Ishikawa Interior

Upon entering, the scented air immediately fills the space around you- it is heavy with rice, cooked fish, and spices- in a completely welcome and homey kind of way. Not nearly as formal, aseptic, and strict as most of the other Kaiseki restaurants I have visited on this trip. 

Ishikawa Chef's Table

I'm given a chair at the very small (7-seat) counter next to two nice couples. The space is clean, subtly lit, easy on the eyes. I'm immediately comfortable. 

First Bites: Blowfish + Radish Sauce, 9/10

First out is a delightful cold dish of blowfish tossed with Japanese herbs and a white radish sauce. Great textures and very, very fresh. Radish sauce is fruity, almost citrusy. 9/10.

Course 1: Turtle, 8/10

This is my first experience with turtle of any kind, and it has a chewy, soft, mushroom-like texture. Two large chunks are served hot, and they're meant to be eaten in two big bites with kelp salt to taste. 8/10. 

Course 2: Scallop Dumpling Soup, 8/10

Next, a clear-broth soup with scallop dumpling, bamboo shoots, and seaweed. The small green garnish on the dumpling is a Japanese Pepper bud. The bamboo tastes rich, almost smoky, and the seaweed is super fresh- feels like it was hauled off a boat that morning. 8/10.

Course 3A: Sea Bream + Sea Urchin Sashimi, 9/10

3-Michelin Star sashimi courses rarely disappoint; this is no exception. Sea urchin as soft as ice cream, sea bream as bright and zingy-crispy-fresh as I've ever experienced. The texture is also soft and smooth- a very easy-to-down course. 9/10.

Course 3B: Lightly Seared Squid Sashimi, 9/10

Next, a few elegant bites of squid with ginger. Lightly seared and warm. The increased temperature is a nice break from the sea bream and the urchin, but the squid is seared in such a way that it doesn't lose its outstanding texture. 9/10.

Course 4: Conger Eel, 9/10

Next, some conger eel- pleasant and soft, perfectly cooked texture. This is normally a subtly-flavored fish, but the crispy presentation and the cooking oil bring out some delightful flavor. 9/10.

Course 5: Snow Crab + Turnip, 8/10

A delightful plate of snow crab; soft, with an almost sinewy texture. The turnip brings out stunningly bright flavors in the crab, which is served cold. The title of this dish was "Delicacy," and I couldn't agree more. 9/10.

Course 6: Duck Hot Pot, 10/10

Hot pot courses are super fun at Kaiseki restaurants, and this one was no exception. Super-fatty duck is served alongside some vegetables; the slick mouthfeel of the duck pairs perfectly with the lean, crisp vegetables and the tasty broth. One of my favorite courses of all time. 10/10.

Course 7: Steamed Rice + Perch, 8/10

As most Kaiseki restaurants do, Ishikawa offers a "bottomless" course that usually involves rice and a light protein. In this case, steamed rice and perch are served alongside some pickled vegetables, and will be refilled on demand until you're full. I like the idea that good restaurants don't want you to leave hungry. One round was all I needed, and the flavors were light and delicious- if anything, a touch on the bland side. 8/10. 

Course 8: Soybean Mousse, 9/10

For dessert, a mousse of soybean in a soybean soup. I can very safely say I have never had anything remotely like this dish- the soybean mousse is almost chocolatey- and this is a perfect cool-down dish. A great finish to a great meal. 9/10. 

Japan- Joël Robuchon Tokyo- ✪✪✪

I'm generally a huge fan of Robuchon's work globally; I had a great time at his Hong Kong and Macau locations, and I respect that the man has figured out how to caricature 3-star French cuisine across the world and still actually earn 3-star status in many of those cities. 

Set in what can only be described as a faux-chateau in the middle of Tokyo, Robuchon's eponymous restaurant goes beyond the bright colors and shiny surfaces of his Atelier sub-brand and simply explodes into a full-bore Disney version of French luxury ready for export. You'll see what I mean in the photos, but I have to say that this restaurant takes luxury into a weirdly overdone dimension that I hadn't experienced before.

If you come for lunch, consider a longer menu than I did, because the (many) dessert courses are all roughly the same length no matter what you get. So, having only a few actual lunch courses makes it feel like the dessert is more than 50% of the meal. Which, given the immense shitload of butter and bread I also consumed (my fault, I'll accept) the meal had a decidedly heart attack-y feel to it.

Another sidenote on service- it was actually terrible. Besides being way, way stick-up-one's-ass formal, it was absent for long periods of time (I clocked 42 minutes between two courses), and at one point straight-up rude. 

Joël Robuchon Exterior

TOKYO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 3.5/10

FOOD: 8.5/10

PRICE PAID: $235 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 6.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 6.0/10

Joël Robuchon Dining Room

A super formal interior space; it felt like a nice place to go if you're interested in impressing someone, but not a very relaxed area. Beautiful, but cold. 

Joël Robuchon Place Setting

The place settings had the look of a delicately-assembled gift. I can only imagine that there is an hours-long course taught on how, precisely, to fold Robuchon's napkins. That work is evident. 

Bread Service

Awesome butter

Very similar to Robuchon's place in Macau, Tokyo does an awesome hot-fork-on-melted-butter routine that I find fascinating. 

First Bites: Tomato + Quinoa, 8/10

First out, an extremely pleasant and aggressively-plated amuse-bouche. Quinoa with tomato served on a bed of... quinoa. The edible parts were warm and crunchy, almost fruity, and beyond the overdone showmanship I quite liked it. 8/10.

Yet More Bread

At no point in the meal did I ever look around and say to myself, "son of a bitch, I wish I had more bread," because I was foisted no less than approximately five full loaves during the course of my meal. An almost unimaginable array of bread shapes and styles. 

Course 1: Crab + Lobster + Caviar, 10/10

Holy. Mother. Of. God. Look at this unbelievably intense opening dish. Caviar, crab meat, and lobster, all beautifully hand-dolloped in a precise geometric pattern. I could not stop looking at this dish and almost felt badly eating it. The flavors were intense and the ingredients were exceptionally fresh, making this a total all-star dish. 10/10.

Even More Bread

Oh look, here comes more bread. 

Next up, a soup with Botan shrimp (known for their sweetness) with lemongrass, mushroom, and a sweet warm broth. 

Course 2: Shrimp + Mushroom + Lemongrass Soup, 9/10

You might safely call this one of the world's best Tom khar Gai soup. 9/10, I was impressed.

Course 3: Wagyu Beef Pierogi, 8/10

Next up in my short lunch menu, the main dish- Wagyu beef pierogi with duck liver, black truffle, celeriac, and foam. I have to say that the protein part is perfectly cooked. The pierogi is a touch rich but I can live with that; the Pierogi pasta itself is too thin and not cooked perfectly- its a little al dente. There, I said it. 8/10.

Course 4: Cheese, 8/10

A cheese cart that rivals some of the best in the world, I went with some classic soft cheeses including my absolute favorite, Epoisse (the good stuff isn't available inside the USA). Some dried fruit and, unbelievably, even more bread accompanied. 8/10.

Course 5: Dessert Course 1, 9/10

In what I estimated was, most surely, the final salvo of this meal, an enormous glass-surfaced dessert cart was ceremoniously trucked up to our table (after the bread cart and the cheese cart, I was already getting a cart-intense feeling from this place). I selected what, I must say, is a damn-fine looking collection of ice cream, chocolate cake, and fruit. 9/10.

Espresso, 9/10

Ah, espresso. A pleasant wrap-up to any decent European-style meal, and I must admit that after a few weeks of nothing but green tea I was really jonesing for some powerful caffeine. 9/10.

Course 6: Dessert Cart 2, 8/10

Wait, what the hell? Yet a fourth cart, completely separate and with entirely different contents than any of the many carts that preceded it. I wasn't going to complain, but this was starting to feel silly. 

The theme here, I suppose, was that these desserts were slightly smaller and look as though they came from a candy store. 8/10. 

Japan- Kohaku- ✪✪✪

Right down the street from Ishikawa (the restaurant that actually owns this one), is Koji Koizumi's more informal (but just as excellent) kappo-kaiseki style eatery, Kohaku. Though a touch more experimental and informal than Hideki Ishikawa's place, both the interior look and feel as well as the ingredients and dishes felt extremely familiar. I will say that going to both restaurants within two days of each other was probably an error on my part. 

Kohaku Dining Counter

TOKYO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 7.0/10

FOOD: 8.5/10

PRICE PAID: $158 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 8.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 8.0/10

Over the course of my two-week trip, I encountered English-language skills that were all over the map; rather unfortunately, I'd have to place Kohaku in the bottom quintile overall. Not a single person could do much more than read the Google-translated menu they printed out for me (which is fine- I'm the traveller visiting another country, it should be on me to learn the language rather than force them to speak mine). I will admit, though, that this made the meal a touch more isolating than usual.

Service was extremely attentive- like many counter-style restaurants, the chefs and cooks were also the servers, table-bussers, water-pourers, etc. This leads to a very efficient and busy counterfront, but the downside is that when they were approaching their peak demand from the private dining rooms, they were often too busy to attend to things like tea, water, clearing, etc. Understandable, but my meal slowed way, way down around the middle of the menu to a glacial pace. 

Course 1: Turnip + Shiitake + Turtle, 9/10

First out, a delightful dish of Shogoin turnip that has almost cigar-y/tobacco-y notes (I'm not a smoker, but it was damn good). The mushrooms were perfect- there's a firm but oily protein that turns out to be turtle. 9/10.

Course 2: Leek + Burdock + Truffle, 8/10

A beautiful dish- the burdock root is very firm; almost potato-like. I will say that though it adds a lot visually, the truffle doesn't bring a ton of flavor- it feels a little too dry, like it has been in storage too long. 8/10.

Course 3: Pufferfish + Sticky Rice, 7/10

I will admit that they even describe this dish as "Just Fired" on the menu, but this pufferfish liver was Uncomfortably Hot as Fuck. Like many other pufferfish livers I tried, it can best be described as a sea-salty, ocean version of foie gras- very rich, and very dense. 8/10. 

Course 4: Conger Eel Dumpling Soup, 8/10

A lighter, extremely refreshing soup after the heavy liver- the eel dumpling is light and sweet, and the broth is almost sugary. A thoughtful next step. 8/10.

Course 5: Smoked Mackerel + Jelly, 9/10

More consistently than most Japanese 3-stars, Kohaku really nailed their seafood presentations. This mackerel practically melted when touched with a utensil. The sauce was close to perfect, and the shaved veggies added a crunchy texture. 9/10.

Course 6: Snapper + Tofu, 10/10

I must once again say that, as far as preparation goes, this snapper is absurdly well-made; it just falls apart. Nice, bright flavors and the addition of tofu and wasabi goes a long way without overcomplicating the dish. 10/10.

Course 7: Perch + Eggplant, 9/10

Another interesting changeup- this dish is served quite cold, a nice break from the heat/spice of the previous dish. The eggplant itself has deep, smoky flavors. Which pairs nicely with the perch- notes of apple, smoke, salt; a really deep and balanced dish. 9/10.

Course 8: Bear + Bamboo Shoot Soup, 6/10

This was the only spot in the meal where the chef lost me a bit (but only just a bit). Bear isn't something I'm accustomed to, but especially after all the lean/light seafood, a big, heavy, oily cut from a bear leg wasn't exactly a welcome diversion. The veggies are crunchy and squeaky. but the bear is fatty, greasy, and gamey. The bamboo shoot is cut a bit too large and it's a huge challenge to bite into. Just like at Koryu, I have learned that bear is not my favorite. 6/10.

Course 9A: Steamed Rice + Yellowtail, 7/10

Course 9B: Pickled Vegetables + Miso, 7./10

As we get around to the final hunger-eliminator course, I must say that the rice and yellowtail fish are rich and filling but a touch dry, the miso overly seaweedy. 7/10.

Roasted Oat Tea, 8/10

As a nice wind-down to the meal, a cup of roasted-oat tea, which like always is pretty good and tastes a lot like Honey Smacks. 8/10.

Course 10: Strawberry Sherbet + Cream, 8/10

A lovely, if small, dessert of fresh strawberries (in season at the time) with cream and crunchy fried tofu skin. A pleasant if non-spectacular conclusion to a really excellent meal. 8/10.

Last Sip: Green Tea, 8/10

And, last but not least, a bottomless ceramic cup of green tea to warm me up before heading back out into the late-winter air. 8/10.

Japan- Komago- ✪✪✪

Komago is tucked in the lush, effectively gated community on top of a hill right between Osaka and Kobe called Koyoen. I had to kill a few minutes in a grocery store/coffee shop nearby that beats the living hell out of any Whole Foods back home, and had the chance to walk around a bit- something I highly recommend. A few quiet steps from the Koyoen train station is Komago, an older building that used to be a tea ceremony house. 

While the setting was gorgeous, the interior, service, and most of the dishes made almost no sense. Employees wandered around in oddly clueless fashion, and English skills were basically non-existent. Please avoid. 

Komago Main Entrance

KOBE, JAPAN

SERVICE: 5.5/10

FOOD: 4.5/10

PRICE PAID: $220 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 5.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 5.0/10

As is the tradition right before dinner service, the gorgeous ancient cobble-stoned entranceway was freshly washed, and, unlike other establishments that have asked us to remove our shoes, we are shown right into a rather sterile room without much decor looking out at a lovely small garden. We are seated on chairs with plain, flat tables that felt more dentist-waiting-room than 3-Michelin-Star restaurant. Odd.

Komago Dining Room

Komago Garden

First Sip: Tea + Seaweed, 8/10

Almost immediately, one of several traditional-dress-decked-out ladies comes by with a welcome tea- very salty and Ocean-y but refreshing; small flecks of seaweed visible throughout. 8/10

Course 1: Tofu + Broccoli, 6/10

Next up, the big black plate that will serve as my base of operations for dinner along with a small and attractive-looking portion of fish/ginger tofu with cooked broccoli arrive. Very strong ginger flavors in the broth, and the overall texture is exceedingly soft; on the verge of slimy. Not bad, but not really my speed. 6/10.

Course 2: Shrimp Dumpling Soup, 9/10

Next, an excellent soup with bright pink crab dumplings, starchy vegetables, greens, lemon peel, and a clear broth. The crab is super fresh, and the soup is piping hot. Subtly different; I really like the dumpling and the nice colorful touch the lemon peel adds. 9/10.

Course 3: Crab, 5/10

While trying not to sound like a culturally imperialist asshole, I have to say that this crab dish looks indistinguishable from a pile of either crab guts or just plain crab shit. It took me a moment to get over the appearance, and found that the flavors overall were Not Bad, but quite earthy. 5/10.

Course 4: Sashimi, 7/10

Had some high hopes here- this tends to be the dish where 3-star Kaiseki restaurants shine; the sashimi. Grilled tuna is a nice touch, the squid has that soft but yielding texture that I’ve come to really appreciate, but it is about as good as everyone else's in the region. Maybe slightly less good. 7/10.

Course 5: Anago Eel, 6/10

Anago. I really enjoyed the balled-up presentation, but honestly the eel is a bit dry and overcooked, which throws off the textural interplay with the rice. 6/10.

Course 6: Duck + Fish, 5/10

This next course was a disappointment. The duck is dry, cold. and a touch gamey- the taste was a little like horses smell. The entire-cooked anchovy stares back at me, and even on making a good-faith attempt to break the fish open, I’m faced with a razor-sharp line of fish bones that I dare not get too close to- and even after exercising caution, coughed up a tiny, hairlike, almost-transparent bone several hours later that felt a little like coughing up a tiny iron nail. Western visitors, unless you know what you’re doing, tread lightly here. The tied-in-a-knot fruit shape tastes like a subtle and pleasant fruit roll-up, which gives some diversity of flavors to the plate. Egg cube and fresh, wet greens diversify further. Have to be honest, I don’t always understand some of these textures, and the small flower-shaped marshmallow is neither sweet nor particularly pleasant to eat. 5/10.

Course 7: Cooked Fish, 4/10

This can safely be called the main dish- cooked fish- served almost blackened in oil. I must say that one part is tender and awesome, one part is overcooked, dry, and almost too tough to put my utensils through, which is both a surprise and a big disappointment. 4/10.

Course 8: Sea Urchin, 7/10

Uni (Sea Urchin). All extremely soft textures that work well together. A nice recovery from the previous course but it’s not a deeply moving dish. 7/10.

Course 9: Shrimp + Mushroom Soup, 7/10

Arriving in a dumpling-like shape with a clear yellow/lemony broth, this quickly turns into shrimp/mushroom/rice mush. It’s pleasant and warm and filling, but it’s nothing that special. 7/10.

Course 10: Clam + Rice, 8/10

What, in Kaiseki, must surely have a name like the “are you full yet” course, an enormous ceramic pot full of rice and clams are brought the table, and I am served until, effectively, I say Uncle. The clams are fresh and delightful, and I like the idea that Kaiseki restaurants never want you to leave hungry. 8/10. 

Course 11: Fruit Gelatin, 7/10

The first dessert is a lovely, understated presentation of strawberry, gelatin, orange, and mango. Not bad, though the orange is quite bitter (perhaps intentional?) 7/10.

Course 12: No Idea, 4/10

Still no clue.

I have honestly no idea what is happening here, but it’s not particularly sweet nor delicious. 4/10. When I asked for more information, I was told that it was "dessert." Charmingly terse. 

Last sip: Matcha, 8/10

Matcha. Exactly the same as every other cup of matcha I’ve had on this trip- strongly similar to a wheatgrass smoothie. 8/10.

Japan- Usuki Fugu Yamadaya- ✪✪✪

Certainly the restaurant I was most intimidated to visit, Yamadaya is the only 3-star restaurant in the world that exclusively focuses on the poisonous pufferfish, a renowned delicacy in Japan where almost 100,000 pounds a year are consumed. Several dozen people per year are poisoned, so overall not as risky as, say, high-speed motorcycling.

In Tokyo, fugu chefs must undergo multi-year apprenticeships and gain a license in preparing the extremely difficult fish- there isn't a ton of meat, and you have to cut carefully to avoid the poison glands/organs/etc. The final exam is: you eat what you prepare. High stakes stuff.

Usuki Fugu Yamadaya Chef's Counter

TOKYO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 7.5/10

FOOD: 7.0/10

PRICE PAID: $265 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 7.5/10

FINAL SCORE: 7.5/10

Usuki Fugu Yamadaya Exterior

Usuki Fugu Yamadaya Main Entrance

Google Maps brought me more or less to the right spot; up a hill off a quiet street, and the building immediately drops into a wide, attractive basement terrace. Usuki Fugu Yamadaya is to the left, and as I walk up a full 15 minutes early an immaculately-dressed woman emerges to usher me inside. She asks my name, but I get the feeling she already knew who I was. 

We walked down a short corridor with gorgeous blond wood and conservative decor, jackets removed, and then seated at a small chef's-table style counter with (just like Kichisen) only 5 seats. My dining partner and I are seated all the way to the right from our perspective (Chef's left). He is already hard at work preparing sashimi plates for the two large private rooms towards the back of the restaurant- we can occasionally hear uproarious laughter- and stays focused and friendly throughout the meal. A beautiful menu, in near-perfect English, is presented so we can follow along with our progress. A super nice touch, and remarkably rare during this trip.

First Bites: A Small Smorgasbord, 8/10

To begin, the chef hands us over the transom a gorgeous ceramic dish with four separate compartments- he goes the extra step of spraying a gentle mist of water before serving. 

From upper left clockwise- Spinach rolled in a thin slice of deep-fried tofu, simmered soybean, and Red Konjac with vinegar bean paste. Firm texture and almost crunchy; delightful.

Next, scallop, carrot with sesame sauce, and dressed dropwort. A bit bland, but a great mixture of textures and flavors- I really liked the carrot's color. Some interesting peanut flavors in the dropwort.

The tuna is pretty to look at, and judging from the color is quite lean- texture is firm and perfect, with a sauce of canola flower and wasabi with nori sauce that doesn't add much. The tuna would have been slightly better on its own. 

Lastly, crab- with wasabi stem, grated radish, and apple vinegar. Has a soft, fruit infused, light flavor, very attractive. 8/10 overall.

Course 1: Simmered Cabbage Soup, 5/10

Next, Simmered cabbage soup with chicken and seven-flavor chili pepper oil- the chicken is a touch dry, which actually kind of ruins it, even though the broth is excellent and rich. 5/10.

Course 2: Fugu Sashimi, 9/10

Next, we get into the main event- fugu sashimi, laid out out in a chrysanthemum shape that in Japanese culture symbolizes death. The flavor is light, almost chicken-like, and the thin translucent cuts have a firm, rubbery-in-a-good-way texture. Adding the green shoots and monkfish liver adds a lot of flavor, along with the ponzu vinegar sauce. 9/10.

Course 3: Grilled Fugu, 6/10

So, grilled fugu turns out to be kind of an unremarkable white fish. Firm and flaky but not very flavorful; texture is kind of unremarkable. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be appreciating at this stage. 6/10. 

Course 4: Deep-Fried Fugu, 8/10

Next, deep fried fugu- tastes just like fried chicken and a fish/chips flavor combo, which is certainly delicious. It's interesting that we're exploring every possible preparation of one particular fish, but I'm getting over the flavor profile by this point. 8/10. 

Course 5: The Hotpot

Course 5: Hotpot Fish

Next, out trots an enormous hot pot onto the chef's portion of the table- painstakingly assembled with long chopsticks right before us. 

Course 5: Hotpot Vegetables

Course 5: Hotpot Sauce

Course 5: Fugu Hot Pot, 8/10

Course 5: Wrapped-up Veggies

Beautifully presented, this dish is another high point that (once again, for those of us who are not fugu enthusiasts) is yet another angle on a by-now familiar idea. 8/10. Check out the extraordinarily detailed presentation work that went into each component of this dish- hand-tied vegetable...! 

Course 6: Fugu Rice Porridge, 9/10

Condensed Fugu! 

With Japanese pickles and congealed rice broth, this fugu rice porridge had flavors much like an egg drop soup. On the side, we got several cubes of condensed Fugu essence with the pickles and veggies. Intensely savory flavors! 9/10.

Course 7: Warabimochi dessert, 6/10

Dessert... Truly wasn't my speed. Warabimochi, a floury and almost sandy-textured dish, was unattractive to my coarse Western palate. Very slightly sweet, like the responsible, low-sugar cereal your mom used to force you to default to, and exceptionally dry. 6/10.

Last Sip: Green Tea, 8/10

At last, the never-empty cup of green tea. As good as all the rest, which is to say quite good. 8/10. 

Japan- Fujiya 1935- Two Stars

Update: Fujiya 1935, after a multi-year run at three stars, lost their third star in the 2018 book and as of the 2019 edition of the guide continue to hold two. I’ll keep an eye on them!

A vaguely Spanish-inspired restaurant in Osaka, Tetsuya Fujiwara's restaurant is outstanding for its interior decor and the creativity of its dishes.

Tetsuya Fujiwara comes from a long line of high-end chefs (he's fourth-generation, actually) and was classically trained in French cuisine and pastry in Japan. He got a stage at a Spanish restaurant called L'Esguard, which is run by a chef who is a neurosurgeon by day, chef by night. No, really. 

Fujiya 1935 Main Entrance

OSAKA, JAPAN

SERVICE: 6.0/10

FOOD: 8.5/10

PRICE PAID: $138 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 8.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 7.5/10

Fujiya Waiting Room

Fujiya 1935's strong suit, almost certainly, is their interior decor. With a very refined, high-end hotel lobby look- blond, multi-hued wood sanded down to the smoothness of plastic, tiny understated candles, dramatic lighting- you get the feeling that the food might be an afterthought. An enormous log hulks in the corner for no apparent reason. 

This restaurant could belong equally in Osaka, Tokyo, Singapore, San Francisco, London... I'll leave it to you whether that's a good thing or not, but I was impressed. 

Place Setting

Serving Plate

Some of the softest, most relaxing wood surfaces, easiest-to-hold cups, and beautifully measured space I've ever encountered- seriously high marks.

First Bites: "Air-Bubble Bread," 9/10

Inside the Air Bubble

First out, an impressively-presented dish of black soybean bread served inside a hot stone, with cream cheese to the side. The bread is light and airy (it was baked in a manner than encourages the formation of air bubbles, we are told), which juxtaposes well against the heavy cream cheese. Four sweet black bean "seeds" are at the "root" of the bread, which is an interesting message. 9/10.

Course 1: Yellowtail + Turnip, 8/10

Check out the mother-of-pearl dish this next course was served upon- a gorgeous way to emphasize the somewhat muted colors of the kan-buri fish (yellowtail), traditional Kyoto vegetables, and turnip. There's also a base of sea salt, in case the just-from-the-ocean idea wasn't hitting you yet. 

The fish is soft and supple; warm mashed potato flavors are hearty and delicious. The turnip has the crunchy texture of an apple but almost no flavor. Interesting. 8/10.

Course 2: Fugu Roe + Burdock + Black Truffle, 9/10

Another clever dish- fugu roe with black truffle. Amazingly crunchy, and the truffle flavors really stand out. 9/10.

Rosemary Bread: 8/10

Butter + Lard: 8/10

Beautiful spherical loaves of rosemary bread with a side box-full of butter and lard. Yes, lard; white with shaved green onions, and the texture of Crisco- it's way over-the-top decadent and delicious on the super-hot bread. Rosemary flavors punch through nicely. The sesame cream with soy milk (on the right) is delicious. I would describe this setup as delicious but just a goddam touch on the rich side. 8/10.

Course 3: Sea Urchin + Squid Ink Sauce + Linguine, 8/10

Linguine with Uni (Sea Urchin), squid ink sauce, and salted egg. The uni itself almost tastes like rich egg yolk, and the squid ink turns the pasta black as the dish is consumed, which is a super cool effect. 8/10.

Course 4: Spanish Pork + Asian Broccoli, 8/10

A server gingerly adds sauce a spoonful at a time (check out the video) to this main dish of pork from Basque country with Asian broccoli and leek sauce from Kyoto. Hearty, big, extremely satisfying. Had to cut off excessive pork fat though. 8/10.

Course 5: Lily Root Ice Cream + Apple, 8/10

The first dessert- a somewhat crumpled-looking baked apple, lily roots, pine nuts, and gelato. A mixture of soft, crunchy, and creamy textures that really helps bring together the apple flavors- like a deconstructed apple pie. 8/10.

Course 6: Espresso, 8/10

The espresso is rich and delicious, but nothing terribly different from, say, a really good Peet's Coffee product. 8/10.

Course 7: Snowman Dessert, 10/10

Tokushima, Japan

All I can say about this last dessert is that it automatically gets 10 points for creativity, almost regardless of how it tastes. A panorama of a snowbank with an actual snowman is made of strawberries from Tokushima, Japan, an area known for producing amazingly fresh fruit. There was a huge amount of meringue and even more sugar; I can safely say that this dish brought joy. 10/10. 

Japan- Sukiyabashi Jiro Ginza- ✪✪✪

Made absurdly famous by the documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi, Sukiyabashi Jiro Ginza is arguably one of the best-known Three-Stars in existence. The film, touching and artfully created, tells the story of a father (Jiro Ono), and his sons (primarily Yoshikazu Ono, the eldest who will one day fully take over this father's enterprise), and the lifetime of difficult work they've invested in creating a culinary temple. To be kind, I would say that my experience here did not fully live up to the ideals described in the film. 

Sushi Jiro Main Entrance

TOKYO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 2/10

FOOD: 7.0/10

PRICE PAID: $275 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 3.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 4.0/10

To start, a few logistical issues really got in the way of a smooth meal. My reservation was confirmed by my hotel for February 4th at 12:00 noon. For some reason, whether the concierge's mistake or the restaurant's, they had me on the books for the following day, February 5th. I explained that I didn't have plans on the 5th, so I was happy to come back, but the junior staff member told me: "my boss says you can eat now if you like." In an attempt to be accommodating that apparently didn't come across the way I wanted, I offered to come back tomorrow if that made things easier for them. The gruff response I got: "Either eat today or eat tomorrow." I agreed to eat today. 

Jiro exterior- a very humble underground office/restaurant area near the subway

The whole meal felt a bit like sitting down to dinner with one of your parents angry at you for leaving your new bike out in the rain. Yoshikazu, taking the lead in Jiro Ono's absence, made no attempts to greet me or be polite in any way. Within thirty seconds of sitting, he was thrusting pieces of sushi onto my plate. In Edo-style sushi, there is a decidedly rushed tone- the art arose at seaside stands where buyers would quickly eat a few bites of fish with a brush of sauce, wipe their hands on a nearby curtain, and then vanish- but even by those brusque standards this was an unfriendly meal. Judging by the experiences of my Japanese neighbors- with whom he made eye contact, asked questions, asked for feedback, etc. - his attitude towards me was extremely cold. 

Course 1: Hirame, 9/10

First, a delightful slice of flounder (Hirame) served just above room-temperature on a bed of rice, with a dab of wasabi. Hirame is seasonal from November-March in Japan, and is known as the “king of the Winter Whitefish,” alongside sea bream. With a soft, delicate flavor, this is an excellent starter as it helps ease into the experience with mild flavors and soft texture. 9/10.

Course 2: Sumi-Ika, 9/10

Next, Sumi-Ika, also called golden cuttlefish, a type of squid. Like most squid I enjoyed during my trip, this is firm and with an extremely pleasant taste, slightly stronger than the Hirame. Cuttlefish are enjoyable mostly for their texture- very firm initially but then quite yielding as you bite down- and this was an outstanding example. 9/10.

Course 4: Inada, 8/10

Inada (Juvenile Yellowtail Tuna) followed. This course is meant to introduce strong colors, and the flavors are clean and bright. 8/10.

Course 5: Akami, 9/10

Next, Akami tuna (lean bluefin) is the lean version of Maguro. When Edo-style sushi originated hundreds of years ago, there wasn’t any refrigeration, so the fattier chunks of tuna had to either be thrown away or preserved in soy sauce in a process called zuke. Jiro prepares his Akamai in a similar way- a soy marinade- that contrast’s the fish’s acidity against the savory and salty soy sauce perfectly. Good bluefin tuna is what Edo style sushi is all about. 9/10.

Course 6: Chu-Toro, 9/10

Then, Chu-Toro (Medium-Fatty Tuna) was plated in front of me. Strong umami flavors. 9/10

Course 7: Otoro, 10/10

Then, in what (in my mind, at least) is the crown jewel of Japanese sushi, the Otoro (fatty tuna) was served. Jiro’s best tuna comes from a Tsujiki market dealer named Fujita, who is known for his preference of excellent marbling as well as good fragrance in his fish. Most of their tuna comes from a fisher called Oma; basically the Mercedes-Benz of tuna fisheries in Japan. Even from the best fishery, Jiro claims that only 1 in 100 tuna fish meet his and Fujita’s exacting standards. Truthfully, this had an excellent aroma much stronger than the other otoro I had consumed during my trip, so I am inclined to agree that his high standards have a payoff. 10/10.

Course 8: Gizzard Shad, 

Next, Kohada (gizzard shad), which is well-known for being difficult to prepare. Normally, the fish is marinated for a very specific amount of time in vinegar to bring out its best flavor, but the problem is that if you marinade too long the flavor becomes oily. There’s only a small window when the flavors aren’t under-emphasized and are not yet oily that the sushi chef must time perfectly. Jiro is known for his unique preparation style for this fish as well- the slightly twisting style is meant to imitate the feminine sitting position. 9/10

Right around the mackerel course, for no reason I could ascertain, the chef announced "No photo." Not sure why he felt that way, since everyone around me was still taking them, and from the blogosphere it's quite clear that taking photos have been okay in the past, but I didn't feel like arguing with this asshole. They generously let me keep a copy of my menu, and I'll describe a few of the standouts below. 

The Menu

The Aji (Jack Mackerel/ Japanese Horse Mackerel) had an incredible, almost chocolatey note in the meat of the fish that I found outstanding.   It has a rich, oily flesh that can quickly develop an odor if it isn’t prepared and consumed promptly. This is the first fish that Jiro’s place processes when it gets its seafood shipments- they wash it in ice water and quickly refrigerate. I was encouraged to eat this one fast, too, as soon as it landed on my plate. 9/10.

Akagai Ark Shell/Red Clam) are another difficult-to-serve dish, if only because you can’t tell how fresh they are until they’re shucked- and these are shucked just before service, so there’s some risk in serving this fish. Mine was perfectly fresh and not as rubbery as most red clam I have experienced- truly awesome. 9/10.

Sayori (Needlefish/Halfbeak) are in season November-March; quite fatty, slides easily on the tongue. 9/10.

Kuramaebi (Boiled Prawn) - With a delightful tiger color, this prawn was served with head and tail intact. Like an amateur, I bit off the middle and was quickly encouraged to eat the head as well- “that’s the best part,” said Yoshibashi, in what could be characterized as our only neutral-to-positive encounter. I didn’t agree, but I kept that to myself. 7/10.

Saba (Mackerel) is marinated in vinegar for about a week before serving- brings out very savory flavors in the fish. 9/10.

Hamaguri (Clam Shell)- briefly cooked over the fire and then seasoned with sugar, soy, and a special-recipe broth. 9/10.

Uni (Sea Urchin) - you may have seen the cup-shaped “warship rolls” of seaweed that these are served in before- the seaweed is roasted over a hay fire to bring out the subtle flavors, and this particular Uni tastes exactly like eating a bowl of whipped cream or cream cheese (let’s say halfway between the two). One of my favorite courses.

Kobashira (Baby Scallops) - these look like baby scallops, but they’re actually the open-and-close muscles from particularly large clams. Once again served in a warship roll made of roasted seaweed. It was earthy and decadent- the texture of bubble-tea-balls, with the richness of Uni. 8/10.

Ikura (Salmon Roe) this is the only dish that Jiro does not serve fresh- the eggs are frozen because salmon only produce eggs in the fall, and Jiro prefers to serve this dish year-round. The texture and flavor were very smooth- not quite like fresh chicken eggs, but close. For the first time ever, the salmon roe I tasted here didn't have the classically fishy taste that I normally associate with larger roes. Fresh and zingy, they tasted more like caviar than not. 8/10.

Anago (Sea Eel/Conger Eel)- Broiled and simmered, this eel had an exceptionally delicate texture that falls apart like paper once eaten. Heavily sauced; maybe too much? 6/10

Tamago (Egg) - the final sushi bite- egg cake- served by itself in what tastes like a block of sweet omelette. There’s clearly either honey or sugar added to give it sweetness, and it is a most subtle dessert.

After this last sushi bite, for some reason I am hustled over to a table to enjoy a small dessert. I have no idea why I am displaced- it’s either part of the program or they needed my seat at the bar for the next patron. It doesn’t contribute to my ability to enjoy the dessert, so I’ll just mark it down as yet another awkward moment in my meal at Jiro. 

Japan- Wa Yamamura- ✪✪✪

Nobuharu Yamamura's Wa Yamamura was a close-to-perfect chef's counter kaiseki experience in Nara, Japan. Nara is famous for tame deer who bow when you give them snacks, gorgeous temples with enormous buddhas that have pillars so big it's a rite of passage to crawl through them, and tons of other beautiful sights from Nara's days as the ancient capital city. Nara is off the beaten path a touch but it's worth a spending a day. Tucked back down some very plain-looking residential streets you'll find Wa Yamamura, a small oasis of simple beauty with a chef and staff who are working exceptionally hard. 

Wa Yamamura Interior

NARA, JAPAN

SERVICE: 8.5/10

FOOD: 8.5/10

PRICE PAID: $180 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 9.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 8.5/10

We were lucky enough to be seated right at the bar, which was a vital and busy display of chef, server, bartender, and other associates moving at great speed through their tiny space. The restaurant had a feeling of being overstaffed, but everyone moved fluidly around each other and there were few collisions (but definitely at least one).

A few quick words on service- our seat was absolutely prime for watching the head chef do his work, including assembling the sashimi dish into fully-iced-out bowls (video below). If you go, ask to be seated on the far left of the counter, since most of the interesting stuff happens there. Every single member of staff was pathologically friendly and helpful, and the menu was translated into English for us by hand. The chef, with an enormous flourish, signed said menu at the end of the meal with three different types of ink. 

First Bites: Crab + Abalone, 9/10

Great Knifework on the Abalone!

For our first bites, a small bowl of crab with abalone. Clean, firm crab taste comes through perfectly. The abalone had tiny microcuts along the side for ease of consumption and tenderness, and I found that it massively improved the normally-rubbery texture of the fish. Amazing panoply of textures and flavors. A strong start. 9/10.

Course 1: Dashi Soup, 8/10

Course 1: Dashi Soup, 8/10

Check out the gorgeous ceramic bowl this dashi soup arrived in- like most of the pieces used in this restaurant, they felt to my amateurish eye to be close to museum-quality. The soup was thick, with the approximate texture of egg whites. The shrimp was extremely fresh and surrounded by cloudy, starchy dough. The broth had flavors of pine smoke, and the tiny turnip serves as a great visual set-piece as well as crunchy and tasty in its own right. Great soup. 8/10.

Preparing the Ice Bowls

Hand-Assembling the Tuna

Next, we had the good fortune to get front-row seats to watch the chef assemble the sashimi into a custom-made ice-bowl. 

Course 2: Sashimi, 10/10

The shrimp's flavors are almost buttery it's so fresh. The flat fish is chewy, and the fatty tuna (otoro) is orgasmic good. Ground by hand right in front of us using a shark-skin grater, the wasabi is fiery-hot. 10/10

Course 3: The Smorgasbord, 8/10 Overall

Next, an insane smorgasbord of different dishes with a riot of colors arrived. I'll describe each component in turn; overall the course was an 8/10.

Course 3A: Mackerel + Conger Fish Cake + Beans, 7/10

The enormous green beans are surprisingly brittle; they break apart immediately, and have a flavor just like a fava bean; hearty and earthy. Beautifully hand-cut, the curls of radish and carrot helix have flavors that pair perfectly. The mackerel is oily and a touch fishy, it's probably been in the fridge a few hours too long. The cubes are conger eel with fish paste, which are super fun and taste a bit like not-sweet vanilla cake. 7/10.

Course 3B: Black Beans + Tiger Prawn + Karasumi, 7/10

These black beans are bigger than previous restaurants, with more smoky flavors and less blueberry. The pickled honeydew (on the left) has extremely interesting combinations of savory and sweet. The prawn is a touch dry, and the karasumi isn't my fave, per usual. 7/10.

Course 3C: Anchovy + Abalone, 8/10

The anchovies are crunchy and slightly sweet; they're dipped in a soy sauce of some kind. Abalone is unyielding but flavorful. 8/10.

Course 3D: Sesame Tofu, 9/10

This sesame tofu is slippery and spongy, and very satisfying to eat- soy and wasabi speaks nicely to the previous course. 9/10.

Course 3E: Cod Roe, 9/10

Last, a dish of soft cod roe in vinegar that looks like a slimy brain and is creamy, warm, and totally delicious 9/10. 

Course 4: Sea Urchin Soup, 9/10

This sea urchin soup is made with eggs, lily bulbs, and ginkgo nuts that give it an extremely interesting texture contrast. The thick starchy soup goes great with creamy Uni texture; the lily bulbs are the approximate size and shape of garlic cloves, but with a mild potato-like flavor. 9/10.

Course 5: Butterfish, 9/10

The ceramic dish this course of Butterfish is served on is incredible- a soaring bird, complete with features. The flavors of the fish are, well, quite buttery and rich, and this makes for an excellent main course. Perfectly cooked and tender. 9/10. 

Course 6: Scallop + Lemon Vinegar Jelly, 7/10

This fantastic scallop dish is interesting, because the flavors and textures of the scallop itself are unremarkable- the jelly is full of lemon and citrus flavors along with a savory note from the vinegar elements, and those strong flavors carry the dish. It's a little odd, I will admit, to have a dish that consists of jelly garnished by scallop as opposed to the other way around. 7/10.

Course 7: Vegetables, 8/10

Taro, tofu, carrot, burdock root and bamboo shoot showed up next with two small garnishments of Japanese Pepper leaf. The starches are crunchy-fresh and the flavors are soft and subtle- easing the transition towards dessert. 8/10. 

Course 8: Rice in Tofu Skin, 8/10

This next dish was really amazing- tofu skin (also known as Yuba, or bean curd sheet) is milky and cheesy and is full of rice, with a light dash of significantly-less-spicy wasabi on top. 8/10. 

Course 9: Strawberry Jelly + Pear + Orange Juice, 9/10

Desserts in Japan are always a subtle affair- some places like Chihana just give you a glass of orange juice- but Wa Yamamura's was both understated and a total delight. Strawberries preserved in gelatin are delicious, but the Asian pears are particularly amazing- soft and sweet. A fantastic end to a fantastic meal!

Japan- Nakamura- ✪✪✪

With a history dating back to 1827 when a fish-peddler named Seibei decided to establish a kyo-ryori house, Nakamura has since been passed down to Seibei's great-great granddaughter, who now runs the show. Down a beautiful Gion sidestreet, Nakamura one of the more traditional implementations of tea ceremony-style Kaiseki (Cha Kaiseki).

Nakamura Main Entrance

KYOTO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 8.5/10

FOOD: 7.5/10

PRICE PAID: $280 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 7.5/10

FINAL RATING: 7.5/10

Nakamura Private Room

For the ultra-traditional experience, guests would sit straight on the tatami mats with no padding or open space. Nakamura moves things a bit closer to the comfortable end of the spectrum by adding heated floors, comfy cushions, and plenty of space to sit upright.

We were given a gorgeous private room with a view of the beautiful garden, running brook, delicate lighting, and weird fake crab (you can make it out sitting on the stone in the background).

First Sip: Honey Smacks Tea, 8/10

We're gonna be seeing a lot of this puffed rice tea going forward, so to save everyone time I'm just going to nickname it Honey Smacks tea and move on. This cup is exactly as good as every other cup I had on my journey, and just as refreshing. 8/10. 

Course 1: Crab + Fish Egg, 10/10

Next, a transcendently delicious dish of crab, fish egg sauce, and fish eggs. This seafood dish has a creamy, almost dairy-like texture, with strong sea/saline flavors from the extremely fresh crab. Crisp, crunchy white vegetables set off the texture interplay. An incredible dish. 10/10.

Course 2: Miso, 9/10

Course 2: Miso, 9/10

Next, a dish that I can quite comfortably say I have never had anything remotely like. A white miso soup with an extremely stretchy, starchy dumpling, surrounded by a thick broth with deep wasabi and mustard flavors, but not spicy in the least. Almost tastes like the awesome milk at the bottom of the bowl of Frosted Flakes. Yes, I realize that is my second cereal reference. 9/10.

Course 3: Sashimi, 9/10

Next arrived the fish sashimi plate - shrimp, squid, and sea bream. The squid is firm and delicious with great texture and a super fresh taste- perhaps the best bite of squid on the whole trip. The other fish hold their own quite nicely, and the wasabi was obviously recently hand-ground. 9/10.

Course 4: Clam + Bamboo + Seaweed Soup, 7/10

Soup with seaweed, bamboo shoots, and clam. The whole situation is a little bland but the seaweed is fresh and dense- like eating snap pea husks almost. The dumpling is a big dry and nondescript. It was around this point that the proprietress entered and had an extremely long, utterly entertaining, but ultimately one-sided conversation in Japanese with us non-Japanese speakers. She clapped when we tried the food, sang a short song, and made many sidebar comments. Honestly, I had no idea what to do for a solid 15 minutes. 7/10.

Course 5: Grab-bag Box, 8/10

Briefly thereafter we were presented with a gorgeous multi-level box containing (clockwise from top right) skewers of fish and vegetables, mustard greens, karasumi, sweet potato rolls, and sweet black beans. The mustard greens have something close to a rich peanut butter flavor, and (once again) the black beans are quite sugary-sweet and kind of taste like blueberries. On the skewers, the fish was mostly unremarkable but the cucumber all the way on the rightmost end was smoky and sweet. 8/10.

Course 6: Vegetable + Uni Soup, 9/10

Next up, some gloriously good vegetable soup with Japanese potato, daikon, and Uni (sea urchin). The potato is fried and has consistency of fried chicken, roughly. It goes perfectly with the uni's smooth, melted butter texture and flavors. 9/10.

Course 7: Cooked Sea Bream, 8/10

The last main course - a deliciously cooked sea bream in a light broth. This was a shockingly simple dish, without much fanfare, spices, or accoutrements, showcasing just the fish itself, which was luckily quite good. 8/10.

Course 8: Rice, 8/10

Course 8: Pickled Vegetables, 8/10

As a final savory follow-up, a bowl of rice with homemade pickled vegetables. A nice smooth downshift from the rest of the main courses. 8/10.

Course 9: Citrus + Strawberry Dessert, 10/10

Desserts in Japan are almost always a subtle affair, but this citrus and strawberry combination crushes it. A very fine, sugary jelly lain overtop brings it all together perfectly. 10/10.

Last Sip: Roasted Oat Tea, 8/10

And, once again per tradition, the final sip is a bottomless glass of roasted oat tea, consumed at one's leisure at the tail end of the meal. 8/10.

Japan- Kikunoi Honten- ✪✪✪

Friendlier, homier, more welcoming, and just plain more fun that any other Kaiseki restaurant I went to is Yoshihiro Murata's awesome Kikunoi Honten. Like most of our other visits, the space was immaculate, beautiful, and comfortable; the food was a spectacularly exotic journey... But what made this place special was the engaged, thoughtful, amazing service. The chef himself sets the tone with a warm, welcome message that everyone on the staff tries to take seriously- I've never seen a restaurant in Japan try to describe itself as an "amusement park for adults," but Kikunoi pulls it off. 

The restaurant has been around since 1912, and the company (which includes other restaurants and stores) considers their mission to be "communicating Japanese cuisine to the world," and "cooking for the public benefit." Yoshihiro himself was trained in France and has executive-chef'd for Singapore Airlines, among others.

Kikunoi Honten Main Entrance

KYOTO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 8.5/10

FOOD: 8.0/10

PRICE PAID: $140 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 9.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 8.5/10

Kikunoi Honten Private Room

A rainy day turned out to be the perfect backdrop for the private room- water gently cascaded down a rocky stream, and a stone wall-garden serves as a peaceful, gorgeous setting. The gentle drips and dabs of rain intermingled with a low, musical gurgle of the tiny creek nearby. Muted grey light from cloud and rock shone into the room intensely throughout this mid-afternoon meal. Every inch of space both indoors and out reflected a smooth, quiet, low, focused calm that I have never experienced before.

Kikunoi Honten Place Settings

For the three of us (all relatively long-legged Westerners) the floor-pillow with TV-dinner stand (not really, but you get it) was somewhere between a little awkward and extremely awkward for those of us who struggle to sit cross-legged (yours truly). 

First Sip: Puffed Rice Tea, 8/10

Per tradition, the place settings included a cupful of Puffed-Rice tea that, also per tradition, tastes exactly like Honey Smacks cereal. Not kidding. A super-light, mild opener and palate cleanser. 8/10.

First Bites: Sushi + Greens + Roe + Black Beans, 9/10

First up: a delightful collection of hand-painted ceramics containing even more delightful appetizers. Clockwise from the bottom of the photo: horse-reins sushi (named for the beautiful, twisting pattern it is folded into), wasabi greens, sweet black beans (once again with the strong blueberry flavors), icefish with yuzu flavoring, rapini dressed with mustard, cod roe terrine, and a Michelin-Star shaped agar-agar jelly.

Amongst the greens are butterbur leaves ("fuki," in Japanese, which the menu mis-translates as the very similar coltsfoot, another herbal medical plant; butterbur is well-known for treating migraines), that add a subtly sweet note. 9/10.

Course 1: Steamed Prawn Soup, 9/10

Without Cover

Next up, an extremely hearty soup that felt more like a paste. Steamed prawn and red turnip with a healthy dollop of wasabi. The prawn has great texture, and the wasabi is bright and somewhat understated. 8/10.

Course 2: Sashimi of Sea Bream + Prawn + Udo + Vegetables + Wasabi, 9/10

Next up, some Botan Shrimp with green shrimp eggs (in season from November-March in Japan). The shrimp itself has a texture and flavor that are very rich - almost buttery- and it's served with the hottest fucking wasabi ever. Udo (a vegetable similar to ginseng that grows in the mountains), is earthy and sweet at the same time.  9/10.

Course 3: Sashimi of Bluefin Tuna, 10/10

The sea bream that comes next is fresh but doesn't possess a ton of flavor. Nice bright colors and a smooth, even mouthfeel. 7/10.

Course 4: Duck Soup, 8/10

Course 4: Duck Soup, 8/10

Next, a delightful duck soup- rich but not overstated. "Yomogi," or Japanese Mugwort- is infused in a dumpling that has an incredibly sticky, dense texture- I've never had anything like it. The star-shaped yuzu really jumps out- rich sweetness like a banana or a plantain. 8/10.

With the halibut-preparation for the subsequent course underway, we enjoyed some slices of bluefin tuna, which I felt iffy about eating due to its threatened extinction. We were assured that these stocks were sustainably acquired. The texture was as smooth as ice cream, and literally melts in your mouth- this is one of many entries into the Best Tuna of All Time category. 10/10.

Course 5: Grilled Halibut, 7/10

For this very specially-served course of grilled halibut and shiitake mushroom, the daughter of the chef (and head of service) came out to serve us. The mushroom is surprisingly sweet; the halibut is a touch dry but the roe adds a great deal of sweetness. 7/10.

Course 6: Yuzu-Wasabi Sorbet, 8/10

Next came further evidence of the Western influence on chef Murata's training- a late-meal palate cleanser. The sorbet has strong wasabi spicyness that tickles the back of your throat, and the yuzu is imbued with a plummy, orange-y taste. Extremely fresh and pleasant. 8/10. 

Course 7: Steamed Cod Tofu + Orange, 7/10

Next, cod milt tofu in an orange with red pepper and ponzu. The fruit and tofu flavors blend well with the cod, but it's off-putting to be eating a fish-soy dish out of an orange husk- the sweetness of the fruit doesn't translate. 7/10.

Course 8: Hotpot Ingredients

Course 8: Hotpot of Yellowtail + Tofu + Daikon Radish + Kintoki Carrot, etc. 9/10

Next, like a stack of morning newspapers arrived the components of the hot pot preparation that we ourselves would be embarking upon. Yellowtail tuna, tofu, daikon radish, Kintoki carrot, Kujo onion, mibuna (a type of arugula from Kyoto), ponzu, and yuzu were all served. Like a huge fool I overcooked my fish, but overall this was an incredibly fun course. 9/10.

Course 9: Rice + Anago Eel + Vegetables, 8/10

Next, anago eel with rice, kinome, burdock root, fiddlehead ferns, and pickled vegetables. A filling, fresh ending to the main courses. 8/10.

Course 10: Custard of Almond + Apricot + Strawberry Sauce + Kiwi Sauce, 9/10

Lastly, a dessert of custard made from almond, apricot, strawberries, and kiwis. Like most Japanese desserts, it is both pleasant and understated. 9/10.

The Bagged Phone

A handful of notes about our delightful surroundings. The phone, deemed too unsightly to be on open display (and available to call our server should we need anything) sat in a satin bag. Thank God. 

Exit Hallway

Second Floor Hallway

I had the opportunity to wander the halls at one point in the meal service, and the whole building does a wondrous job of transporting me back ten centuries. Every surface, step, wall, and panel is immaculate. A totally magical space appropriate for the incredible meal. 

Japan- Mizai- ✪✪✪

Set in a corner of the elegant Maruyama Park near Kyoto's historic Gion (geisha) district, Mizai is as fine an example of Kappo Kaiseki, or Kaiseki "in the kitchen," as it were. Diners sit directly across from chefs as they prepare dishes, enhancing the immediate freshness of the preparation, and allowing conversation and questions to flow naturally between the two groups. If you speak Japanese, that is. 

Mizai Exterior

KYOTO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 7.5/10

FOOD: 8.5/10

PRICE PAID: $380 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 6.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 7.5/10

Mizai Chef's Counter

Two big notes on decorum when it comes to your own visit: show up early, and bring cash.

My reservation was for 6PM; I arrived at 5:55PM and was definitely the very last person to be seated. In Kappo Kaiseki, everyone is served at the exact same time, and coordination is critical, so I learned the easy way not to be late. 

The room is taken up by a grand wooden bar with ten seats on the long end (I sat near the middle of the long side) and four on the short end- a total of 14 high chairs.

As I sat down, I was literally immediately served some green tea as a starter, and the chef greeted me. A short, serious man with an excellent mustache and precisely-rolled cuffs in his shirt. 

The space is just gorgeous- small wax candles burn on the countertop and off to my right is a view of a mossy, stone wall-garden. Small monkeys (for 2016- year of the monkey) adorn the set top to my left. The feeling is calm, quiet, peaceful, reflective. More temple than restaurant. 

First Bites: Soup + Vegetables + Rice 9/10

First, they bring out the big black tray that will serve as my meal carrier/personal space-definer up until dessert. On the first platter is a small cup of soup, a tiny portion of perfectly-cooked rice, and an amuse-bouche of pickled vegetables, fish, and seaweed. The soup was milky and sweet, the rice was delicious, though I must admit that I'm not enough of a connoisseur to appreciate the rice at the level everyone else seemed to. The vegetable/fish combo had a silky, soft mouthfeel and was a lovely and colorful contrast to the two monotonal dishes that accompanied it. A tasty start, 9/10.

A note on service: the course was accompanied by a long, impassioned speech entirely in Japanese that probably lasted 10-12 minutes, during which the origins of the rice, the combination of ingredients, and the cooking techniques were discussed. At least, I'm fairly certain that's what was being discussed based on the impassioned "oohs," and "aahs" emanating from my impressed co-diners, along with many other emphatic expressions of understanding that I could not, in good faith, emulate, because I don't speak a word. At the end, one of the sous-chefs walked over to my place while everyone else stared at me intently, pointed, and said, "Rice. Soup. Vegetable and Fish." A long stare, as if to ask if I needed that epic description recapped. Mic drop.

I said, "Thanks, I think you nailed it." And luckily, everyone else at the restaurant (who all spoke fantastic English) was polite enough to laugh. 

Course 1: Bucket 'o'Sashimi, 10/10

The next course, sashimi, was about 25 full minutes in the making. Each type of fish was brought out from the kitchen and assembled by hand by the chef himself using only chopsticks. First the otoro, then the maguro, then the yellowtail, then squid, then sea bream, and then finally the vegetables (some extremely crunchy leaves meant to refresh the palate that were eaten last), the hand-ground wasabi and the two small soy sauce cubes were carefully and painstakingly placed on a bed of ice. It was real masterwork, and I had no problem with how long it took, given how clearly this dish was meant to be an opening high point. Every piece of fish was transcendently fresh and delicious- the otoro had the texture of cream cheese it was so soft and fatty. The squid was firm but extremely yielding- a unique texture unlike any I have ever experienced before. The yellowtail was fresh and had a sharper, more fragrant taste. The sea bream ("Tai" in Japanese), also called the King of Fish, was flavorful and delightful. 

One last note- the blue ceramic placed in front of me before the sashimi bowl came out is more than 100 years old, and a great deal of time and attention was spent by diners and restaurant staff alike describing and admiring the ceramics that were a part of the meal. 10/10.

Course 2: Dumpling + Turnip Soup, 9/10

Next, a small, flavorful soup with a tiny Japanese turnip with long, bright green leaves served on top of a very stretchy dumpling and a clear broth. 9/10.

Course 3: Wagyu, 10/10

One of my favorite courses of all time- a plate of fresh, perfectly cooked Wagyu beef, together with lightly grilled onions and green vegetables. Soft, luxurious, decadent, insanely good. 10/10.

Course 4: Seaweed + Vegetable Soup, 7/10

Next, a clear broth with seaweed and hard vegetables (sorry for the insanely bad photo). The bamboo shoots were hard and almost crunchy, the Japanese Pepper (or shishito) adds a cirtrus-y note. 7/10.

Course 5: Sea Urchin, 8/10

Next, umi (sea urchin) karasumi, eel, and vegetables served in an orange husk, which are January's fruit of the season. I've already covered the fact that karasumi (dried, condensed fish eggs) are one of my least favorite things on the planet, but the eel and sea urchin are excellent- sea urchin tastes like earthy cream cheese at its best (a completely positive description by the way!) And this dish nails it. 8/10. 

Course 6: The Smorgasbord, 7/10

Check out this super fun little teepee of pine-needles that adorn what can only be called a small smorgasbord plate. A huge diversity of flavors and colors; I was instructed to eat the deep-fried vegetables on very bottom first and work my way clockwise through the tiger shrimp and onwards. Inside the cut lime were many small, pale anchovies staring back at me. 7/10.

Course 7: Vegetable Soup, 8/10

Another soup, this one with daikon carrot, tofu, and fish paste. The colors weren't as bright and vibrant as they were at Kitcho, but a refreshingly simple and hearty dish nonetheless. 8/10.

Course 8: Crab + Sashimi, 8/10

Another small fish plate, with crab in the center. The crab sauce was bright and fruity, and the sashimi almost outdid the earlier main fish plate's freshness. 8/10.

Course 9: Pickled Vegetables, 9/10

Pickled vegetables, which were totally remarkable for the huge variety of flavors they were able to achieve. Sweet, sour, and everything in between. 9/10.

Course 10: Puffed Rice Soup, 8/10

Once again, I manage to take a horrifyingly awful picture, so apologies. Not much to say about this soup other than it tastes distinctly, once again, like Honey Smacks with puffed rice. 8/10.

Couse 11: Sticky Bun, 8/10

A semi-sweet pastry with enormous leaf. The pastry has a very sticky consistency that makes the experience a bit like eating a delicious sponge. 8/10.

Course 12: Matcha, 8/10

Matcha tea, once again grindingly handmade by the chef himself. A total work of art- he individually selected each cup. portioned out the matcha, added it to the cup, mixed it together with the matcha stirrer, and handed it to his assistant after uttering a small prayer before and after each completion. The server would then, with a very precise and practiced motion, turn the bowl to the front facing the guest, place the bowl in front of the guest with two hands, and give a deep, profound bow. I did my best to accept the gesture in kind, and I think I was given a C+. 

Course 11: Citrus + Strawberry, 8/10

Lastly, two courses of dessert were served- the first was orange custard inside a carved-out orange peel with red and white strawberry- totally delicious, sweet, and for such a small and reasonably-sized portion felt almost decadent in the context of the meal. 8/10.

Course 12: Sliced Fruit, 10/10

The very last, a beautifully colorful plate of precisely-chopped fruits topped wth gold leaf. This was one of the most beautiful and intensely colored desserts I have ever experienced. 10/10.

One final note- after service was completely over, every member of the kitchen staff emerged from the back, was given a beer by the chef himself, bowed, and we all clapped. An awesome, fun conclusion to the meal.

And, about that cash thing I mentioned earlier- each guest, separately, is ushered to what can only be called a small cash door where payment is requested. They don't take credit cards, so for goodness sake make sure you use the ATM beforehand. 

Japan- Kitcho Arashiyama Honten- ✪✪✪

Set against Kyoto's gorgeous Katsura river with the Arashiyama mountains beyond, Kitcho is a truly traditional private-dining Kaiseki restaurant executed in a strict formal tone and with a great deal of ceremony. If you're looking for an utterly traditional Japanese meal, this place is most certainly the bottom line. 

Named after a chant that bamboo-grass paint sellers used to hum to themselves during a certain January festival, Kitcho is a tea-ceremony style Kaiseki (called Cha Kaiseki), that requires the chef to go through deep cultural and artistic training alongside possessing massive culinary skill, and arose almost a thousand years ago as a meal style for aristocracy in the ancient capital, Kyoto. Kaiseki chefs are supposed to be food artisans who also appreciate poetry, art, and songs. The word itself means "breast stone," and is a reference to the warm rocks monks used to carry in their robes to fight hunger pangs between their two meager meals a day. A bit of a bougie reference, if you ask me. 

Kitcho Private Dining Room

KYOTO, JAPAN

SERVICE: 8.0/10

FOOD: 7.5/10

PRICE PAID: $470 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 3.5/10

FINAL SCORE: 6.0/10

We were led to a private room down soft, beautifully kept floors made of what felt like packed papyrus. The room had an aura of incense, not too much, just enough to feel exotic. Dominating the room's quiet space is a low slung table of faultless shiny black lacquered wood, with two small bright lamps suspended above.

First Sip: Hot Rice Water, 8/10

Kitcho's Menu

As a welcome and palate-cleanser, we are brought cups of salted hot water with rice crackers. The taste is very subtly sweet- almost like Honey Smacks cereal. An understated, elegant cleanser/starter. 8/10.

Course 1: Presentation with Ceramics

Course 1: Snow Crab + Sea Cucumber + Apps, 8/10

Our visit was on the approach to Chinese lunar New Year, and the year of the Monkey, so monkey references abounded during not just this visit but during the trip overall. Quick side note: absolutely charmingly, the menu described this course as: "The Some Kinds of Appetizer." Perfect. 

Starting clockwise from the top right (the monkey sculpture, of course) is an exceptionally fresh concoction of snow crab with a vinegar sauce. Extremely fresh and zingy, with nice notes of ginger and densely-cooked green leaves at the base that brings the dish together almost perfectly.

The collection in the lower right of the photo includes a brightly-colored tiger shrimp with caviar, the yellow-colored piece covered with an obsequious leaf of gold is mullet roe, or karasumi. Popular around the New Year, karasumi is a side dish of condensed, dried fish eggs, and I'd have to search for a long time to find a food that disagrees more with my palate. With a flavor that precisely mimics dead fish coupled with the smells of dead fish and other rotting things, I am stunned at how much I dislike karasumi. I'll attribute a large part of this to my unexposed Western sensibilities and not give the course a terrible score, but I did not make too much progress on that piece.

The small cube of similar-yellow-color is egg and fish cake, which tastes indistinguishable from fish cake. 

Sea cucumber has a delightfully soft texture with floral, almost tropical notes. Lastly, a few large black beans that taste exactly like a cross between a normal black bean and a blueberry- sweet and almost fruity. 8/10.

Course 2: Hand-Painted Ceramic, ~50 Years Old

Course 2: Rock Fish + Seaweed, 9/10

I include the before-and-afters here to show the incredible level of dish/ceramic/presentation beauty in almost every single dish brought to us. The soup bowls- always presented covered and with flawless, glossy colors- were a delight to look at and enjoy separately for almost every course. Kaiseki is about emphasizing all of the aesthetic- touch, sound, smell, and obviously taste. 

The fish in this course was perfectly hot, fragrant, and the seaweed was a nice add-on. The fish itself (Kasago or rock fish) is very light. The advice from our server was to "try it with and without seaweed." Sure enough, the seaweed paper brings out very different flavors with each bite. 9/10. 

Course 3: Sashimi, 10/10

The menu claims that the delicious white sashimi on the left is a Scorpion Fish, but a much more likely candidate is a squid (which our server referred to as devilfish, and is a common name for squids, octopi, and any other sinister-looking sea creature. But it tasted like really good squid). And on the right, fatty tuna (Otoro) sashimi. Ponzu sauce and soy sauce. Unreal good; the tuna has a melt-in-your-mouth consistency. 10/10.

With the benefit of hindsight, I'm comfortable saying that this was the freshest and most delicious bite of Otoro (fatty tuna) that I enjoyed during the almost two week-long experience in Japan. 

Course 4: Eel Soup,, 6/10

Next, a heavier soup with conger eel, soy milk skin, ginger, and a leek ball. The soy milk is steamed, giving it an extremely soft and and sticky texture that isn't terribly pleasing. The included fish skin adds flavor, but the leek and ginger stand out way too much in an otherwise bland dish. 6/10.

Course 5: Wrapped + With ... Plants? 

Course 5: Yellowtail + Egg Yolk, 7/10

This next course was super fun, even though I have to say I wasn't sure what the point of birthday-present-style wrapping the whole situation was. The dish was a healthy portion of Yellowtail with egg yolk. Tasty but kind of plain. The egg yolk is super sticky and difficult to manage. 7/10.

Course 6: Hand-Painted Ceramic, ~80 Years Old

Course 6: Taro + Carrot + Mushroom + Spinach, 9/10

Check out the amazing colors in this dish- the red one is carrot, green one is spinach, taro is white, and the yuzu is the yellow. For being a simple preparation of vegetables, this is an insanely beautiful and enjoyable dish, with a wide variety of textures and extremely fresh ingredients. 9/10.

Course 7: Steamed Rice + Ice Fish, 7/10

With the Fixins

This course, I later learned, is supposed to be a hunger-killer that comes towards the end of every Kaiseki meal. Essentially, they bring out an enormous pot of rice with light protein, and will keep refilling your dish until you say Uncle. If you get through the whole bowl, they'll bring more. The idea is, no one leaves hungry. The rice fish tastes exactly like a deep-fried fish stick, which isn't a bad thing, but it's just fish with rice. 7/10.

Course 8: "Award-Winning Rice." 7/10

"This is some award-winning rice," we were enthusiastically told, as a large dollop of rice that, while attractive, is indistinguishable to me from most other rice I have experienced. Once again, I'll chalk this one up to my ignorance and lack of refinement, but to me it tasted like slightly buttery popcorn. And, overwhelmingly, of plain rice. 7/10.

Course 9: Citrus + Strawberry, 9/10

Though definitely in the understated, simple style that Japanese desserts are famous for (or, in Chihana's case, maybe too understated) this carved orange had a bright, delicious citrus sorbet along with white and red strawberries freshly picked in Southern Japan. 9/10

Course 10: Sweet Bean Paste, 6/10

This bean paste was a bridge too far. The flour on the outside was very slightly sweet, but the entire bite felt extremely bland. Almost like they were trying to let us down easy. 6/10.

Course 11: Matcha Green Tea, 7/10

As is the tradition in a Cha-style Kaiseki restaurant, we end with a cup of hand-ground Matcha tea. This stuff always tastes exactly like a wheatgrass shot to me, but hey. 7/10. 

Last Sip: Roasted Brown Tea, 8/10

The very last word is some delicious roasted brown tea with honey, which also tastes like Honey Smacks, and is refilled as many times as we relax on the large floor and ready ourselves for re-entry into the real world (or, at least, Kyoto). A lovely, relaxed finish to a very good meal. 8/10.

Hong Kong- Sushi Shikon- ✪✪✪

Tucked into a corner of the Mercer Hotel in downtown Hong Kong, Sushi Shikon has a small, intimate space for just 8 diners with the chefs standing just on the other side of the low counter. The benefits of this setup are total visibility into everything the chefs prepare, which is super cool. Every component of the meal, from the fish all the way down to the hay used to smoke the Bonito, is imported from Japan each day. If your goal is a super-authentic Japanese meal while visiting Hong Kong, this is the place to do it, and Holy Toledo will you end up paying for it. At more than $500 per person (list price) without alcohol for the privilege of such things as Japan-fresh hay, the price is not justified (especially with the perspective of, as I write this, wrapping up at some very fine sushi places in Japan). 

HONG KONG, CHINA

SERVICE: 8.0/10

FOOD: 8.0/10

PRICE PAID: $520 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 2.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 6.0/10

First Bites: Kobako Crab, 9/10

Kanazawa

The first dish is a Kobako crab, a very special kind of female snow crab from the west coast district of Kanazawa. The name literally means "flavor box," and they've been prized in Japan for centuries. Serving it cold brings out the fruit flavors in the preserves/jam that adorns it, and the texture is just perfect. A strong start. 9/10. 

Course 1: White Fish Sashimi, 8/10

A delicious cutlet of fresh whitefish, seared briefly and served warm with fresh, hand-ground wasabi. A small bite, but wonderful flavors and aromas. 8/10. 

Course 2: Octopus, 7/10

Rubbery, warm, and with a surprisingly neutral flavor that a sugary fruit sauce tries and partially succeeds to dance up. 7/10.

Course 3: Steamed Abalone, 8/10

Continuing the rubbery trend, this dish of seared abalone was a texture-driven dish, and by that I mean the most interesting thing about it was the odd combination of potato-like softness with rubbery firmness. Not terribly flavorful but engaging nonetheless. 8/10.

Course 4: Abalone Liver Sauce, 9/10

In a classic sushi restaurant pairing, right after the abalone comes rice with abalone liver sauce that the chef hands over and encourages us to mix together on our own. The sauce is heavenly-rich, with strong foie gras-like flavors. A bit on the heavy side for an appetizer, but extremely flavorful. 9/10.

Course 5: "Hay-Smoked Bonito," 10/10

So, I have to give credit where it's due- for all the fanfare associated with FedExing themselves hay from Japan each day, this Bonito was deliciously, exquisitely, perfectly smoked, seared, and cooked. This is in the running for most delicious piece of fish I have ever encountered. One is tempted to say that there's no way any other hay besides Japanese hay could possibly bring out such flavors in the fish, but that's totally absurd. Cut down your carbon footprint, fellas. 10/10.

Course 6: Egg Custard + Snow Crab Soup, 8/10

This final round of appetizers- steamed egg custard with snow crab- thick texture, wonderful flavors. 8/10.

Course 7: Squid, 9/10

So, please excuse the weird photography for the next few courses- the chefs prepare sushi to be served at the perfect temperature for consumption, and the expectation is that you'll wolf it within a few seconds of the fish hitting your plate. Not wanting to piss anyone off, I scooped sushi with one hand and took a really fast photo with the other. 

The squid is firm, fresh, and very very good, but not as transcendent as other places. 9/10.

Course 8: Whitefish 7/10

This next fish, teasingly named "whitefish," is both firm and pairs perfectly with the light dabbing of soy sauce the chef adds with a brush in the final step before service. 

Course 9: Chu-Toro (Medium-Fatty Tuna), 9/10

A beautiful bouquet of flavors- rich greens, umami, and perfectly wasabi'd before serving. 9/10.

Course 10: Otoro (Full-Fatty Tuna) 10/10

This Otoro tasted like the purest, most delectable, most heavenly piece of fish ever created. Fatty but not so decadent that it overwhelms the palate, this slice of tuna stands up well against Masa, Yoshitake, and Jiro. 10/10, mostly because I can't award an 11. 

Course 11: Spanish Mackerel, 8/10

Spanish mackerel is known for a full, smoky flavor that quickly becomes "fishy" if it's not extremely fresh. This does not suffer from any such issue, but the smokiness is a little underserved by the low temperature of the fish. I'm no expert, but it reaches my hand a bit cold. 8/10.

Course 12: Ark Shell Clam, 7/10

Akagai, also known as Ark Shell or Red Clam, came next. I've never been the biggest fan of these bubble-gum-textured, chewy sea creatures but this is about as good as I've tasted. Rich, sea-floor flavors of kelp and salinity. 7/10.

Course 13: Sea Urchin, 8/10

Course 13: Sea Urchin, 8/10

Check out these immaculately- organized boxes of Sea Urchin (Uni) that were trotted out to prepare the next course- a Junior Whopper-sized seaweed roll of sea urchin. The flavors are earthy, almost like dirt, but a very creamy and rich texture- like eating soil-flavored cream cheese (in a really good way). 8/10. 

Course 14: Tiger Prawn, 8/10

Next, a beautifully-colored tiger prawn, served quite warm and freshly cooked, definitely took more than two bites to consume even though I realize that this is sushi heresy. 8/10. 

Course 15: Sea Eel, 9/10

This bite of warm, freshly-cooked sea eel practically falls apart and doesn't suffer from the usual eel issues of oiliness. Like a beautifully-baked whitefish, you wouldn't know this was eel unless someone told you. 9/10.

Course 16: Egg Custard, 7/10

Slightly sugary and sweet, I'll admit that I have never understood the appeal of egg custards, but this one is quite delicate and tasty as we get to the end of the savory courses. 7/10. 

Course 17: Miso Soup, 8/10

Lastly, one of the tastiest (and saltiest) miso soups I have ever consumed- clearly made by hand, with delicately-cut greens and extremely fresh soy. 

Courser 18: Baked Pear, 9/10

Desserts in Japan are always a subtle affair, and this baked pear with fresh fruit preserves on top is delightfully refreshing without being heavy. A delightful meal overall! But like I said, ungodly expensive for what you get. 

Macau- The Eight- ✪✪✪

Yet another in a long string of confusing-how-they-earned-it Chinese Three-Stars, Au Kwok Keung's Cantonese-style restaurant is named the luckiest number in Chinese culture. Fitting that it's inside an enormous casino, the Grand Lisboa, which is in fact the very same casino as the other Three Star in Macau, Robuchon au Dome. The Eight is, without any doubt, the inferior of the two.

The Eight's Main Entrance

MACAU, CHINA

SERVICE: 5.0/10

FOOD: 4.0/10

PRICE PAID: $220 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 6.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 5.0/10

The Eight Interior

References to the number Eight are literally everywhere, and I have to say I found this restaurant's interior like something from a Bond villain lair. Female wait staff are outfitted in extremely slinky cocktail dresses and high heels, which look incredibly uncomfortable and contribute to said ambiance further. 

First Bites, "Abalone Dumpling," 7/10

One of the restaurant's signature dishes- we are first presented with a dumpling with abalone sauce, and abalone with pomelo. Only after we've consumed both does the waiter come over and inform us that it wasn't really an abalone, it was a mushroom! You guys got us! 7/10.

Course 1: Pork + Goose Liver, 3/10

This next course is the interpersonal equivalent of coming on way, way too strong way too early. A heaping slab of barbecue pork prepared Char Siu-style is garnished with an even-larger hunk of goose liver. This makes the goose liver appear bigger than it is, balancing unsteadily on the pork like a big, sweaty elephant on a circus ball. When you think about how fatty and heavy both of these things are together you wonder what might make this a good starting dish for those who haven't skipped lunch (and maybe breakfast before that). On top of that, the goose liver is dry and the pork is overcooked. Poor. 3/10.

Course 2: Beef + Watercress, 8/10

This next course is, once again, really heavy, but it has the new feature of actually being delicious. Beef from the tropical Japanese island of Kagoshima is super tender, and pairs almost perfectly with the watercress,which is crunchy and has a great texture. 8/10.

Course 3: Sea Whelk + Abalone + Red Date Soup, 5/10

The menu charmingly describes this dish as "double-boiled sea whelk, abalone, and silky fowl with red dates." Sea whelk, a type of sea snail, is gamey and chewy; the same idea as escargot but less tasty. The sweetness of the dates is pronounced and welcome, but along with the rubbery-chewy abalone it makes for an extremely difficult-to-eat soup. 5/10. 

Course 4: Boston Lobster + Egg + Minced Pork + Black Bean, 4/10

I feel terrible for this lobster, who followed me all the way from the US (Boston) only to be badly cooked and dumped in a vat of mushy, poorly-articulated sauce and minced pork. Very difficult to pull the flavors apart here, and the undercooked lobster didn't help straighten anything out. 4/10. 

Course 5: Seasonal Vegetables + Ginkgo+ Bean Curd, 3/10

What could only safely be described as an orgy of green vegetables came next; the second dish in a row that seems to be drowning in its own sauce. I got barely a third of the way through before deciding that this A) tasted like a crappy take-out side dish that one orders purely out of guilt for how unhealthful the rest of the meal is, only to wish they had fully committed to the oils and fats and B) was an enormous waste of my and someone else's time. 3/10.

Course 6: "Shark Fin" + Rice Vermicelli, 3/10

The first thing anyone confronted with this plate would probably ask, of course, is: "What in the holy hell is happening right now?" This pile of rice vermicelli, conpoy (dried scallops) along with fake shark's fin was a bland, soulless dish that tasted exactly like eating a bowl of plain pasta mixed with bran cereal. We are told by our server that this is, in fact, fake shark's fin; real shark's fin is a delicacy, they worked tirelessly to re-create the flavors and textures for this dish. A similar idea to the abalone that was actually a mushroom from earlier. I'm sure someone gets the significance of this effort, but it is completely lost on me. 

Course 7: Taro Pudding, 2/10

From just looking at this dessert, there's no way you'd think it was totally gross, right? You'd be wrong. Lukewarm, sickly-sweet flavored, in a bath of sugar milk. 2/10. I broke off one of the wings, only to find it also bland and brittle, leaving the small fake butterfly staring forlornly at the crystal Bond-villain drapes. A sad image evocative of my experience here. 

Course 8: Coffee Service, 5/10

A final dish- coffee service- is brought out, complete with gold leaf on the white-chocolate rose to remind you that this meal is not only bad but also expensive. What a strange and disappointing place. Please avoid at all costs. 

Macau- Robuchon au Dôme- ✪✪✪

Perched at the very top of the Grand Lisboa casino in Macau, Robuchon au Dôme was a delightfully refreshing break from its Hong Kong/Macau 3-Star brethren in that it was actually incredibly good, reasonably priced, and full of service staff who seemed to really give a shit. This is, fortunately or unfortunately, one of only two places out of all the 3-stars in the region that I truly enjoyed.

Robuchon Interior

MACAU, CHINA

SERVICE: 9.0/10

FOOD: 8.0/10

PRICE PAID: $98 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 9.5/10

FINAL SCORE: 9.0/10

Elevator to the Restaurant Level

Private Elevator from the Restaurant Level

Navigating the Grand Lisboa hotel and casino to reach the restaurant requires no less than four lobbies and three elevators, a luxurious but galling approach if you're running late (as I was- which was my fault- but I prefer to blame luxury elevators).

Deep, Rolling Tufts of Pollution-Fog from the Mainland

One of the only bummers of the whole visit was the view itself-the restaurant offers stunning vistas of the thick pollution-fog from Zhongshan/coastal manufacturing China. This, according to our service staff, is actually considered a relatively clear day. 

Hot Spoon-Melted Butter Service

Butter. Awesome.

A short note on bread and butter, because I'm obsessed with such things- this was the best butter service I have yet experienced, full stop. They had two enormous pillars of butter that they "cut" and served with a spoon idling in hot water.

The Bread: 10/10

They basically dumped four pounds of assorted breads on the table, arranged in a lovely star shape, which more than suits me. Highest marks possible for bread. 10/10.

First Bites: "Le Maïs," 6/10

The amuse-bouche consisted of a sweet corn velouté with marshmallow, popcorn, and smoked duck. The presentation and colors are gorgeous, but I didn't expect it to be cold. Maybe because it sat too long before service, but the popcorn and broth have intermingled into a mealy consistency, and the sweetness doesn't stand up as well as it should. 6/10. Marshmallows make it richer without adding depth. 6/10.

Course 1: "La Bettrave" - 8/10

I admire dishes that take something I don't automatically find appetizing- in this case beets- and make them my new fave. Beets and beetroot salad on bottom with microgreens and a delicious green mustard sorbet on top. The sorbet is incredibly refreshing- almost spicy- and pairs with the salad perfectly. My only small issue is that the microgreens are not 100% fresh. 8/10.

Course 2: "Les Crustacés" - 9/10

"Les Crustacés" - "The Crustaceans," is a shellfish soup on the right and two rice-and-shrimp balls on the left. In the soup is a hugely rich and dense variety of seafood flavors thanks to a few different kinds of shellfish along with roe to add sweetness. The miniscule, bubbly texture of the shellfish goes great with the tiny pops of the roe. Great flavor, perfect temperature. 9/10. The shrimp balls don't add a ton, and I wouldn't recommend mixing them with the soup. Crunchy rice texture is a touch dry.

Course 3: "Le Spaghetti," 9/10

Remarkably similar to a dish offered by Robuchon's place in Hong Kong (my brother got it while we were there) the idea is pretty simple- spaghetti with lobster knuckles and microbasils in a turbo-rich lobster sauce. The execution boils down to how well the lobster is cooked, and in this case they rocked it. The microbasils also have great flavors that really heightens the dish. Simple, well-thought-through. 9/10.

Course 4: "La Joue Du Boeuf Wagyu," 9/10 

Course 4 Side: White Vegetables Mashed, 9/10

A main course that would make any French chef proud- beef Wagyu Bourguignon. The Wagyu is soft enough to cut with a fork, the vegetables are lightly cooked and relatively firm, which enhances the contrast. What's interesting is that the traditional recipe uses a variety of cattle called Charolais, which are actually very lean- so to instead use Wagyu, which is basically on the opposite end of the fatty spectrum, is a really cool idea. 9/10.

Course 5: Cheese! 8/10

Crackers for said cheese

Cheese, served on slate, 9/10

Thanks to the Robuchon au Dôme, I got introduced to my new favorite varietal of cheese- Epoisse, this one specifically from a producer in France called Gaugry that is, sadly, not available in the US because they don't pasteurize (as, indeed, most good French producers do not). 9/10.

Coffee Service: 9/10

Pink Sugar

An extremely delicious coffee service, complete with pink sugar cubes. 9/10.

Final Bites- the Dessert Cart

What is very likely the most absurd dessert cart in the Eastern hemisphere rolled up next. I love envisioning the design conversation that went into this megalith.

Jacques: "Should there be ceramic mushrooms?"

Jean: "Of course, Jacques."

Jacques: "And the chocolates; should they be in small, hand-painted cocoa bean shells?"

Jean: <long stare> "Obviously, Jacques." 

This cart instantly inspires joy as it is wheeled around the room; photo flashes abound and laughter fills the high glass ceiling. A small part, but nonetheless an important part of these experiences is the transportation factor- making you feel, even if only for a moment, that you are whisked to some alternative dimension where you get to see or feel something genuinely new and different. No one pays as much for these meals as they do because they care that the ducks were raised by priceless organic bees or whatever, they want to feel taken away. This is the rare restaurant that actually accomplishes this goal

Final Bites: 8/10

Lots of Ivory Sculpture, If That's Your Thing

Robuchon au Dôme Wine Coolers

Multiple Racks of Romanée-Conti. NBD.

A short final note- as I walked out, I could't help but inspect the massive, low-lit rows of wine racks the restaurant stores on the main floor. A truly unreal collection of Romanée-Conti, Chateau Haut-Brion, Cristal, Krug, etc. Though certainly showy, it makes a hell of a point. 

Hong Kong- 8 1/2 Otto e Mezzo- ✪✪✪

A confused meal with absentee service with a suburban-mall feel to it, I am utterly confounded about how this place earned or keeps its 3-star status. Avoid.

8 1/2 Otto e Mezzo Main Entrance

HONG KONG, CHINA

SERVICE: 4.0/10

FOOD: 7.0/10

PRICE PAID: $140 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 3.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 5.5/10

A few quick words on service- both the runners and the wait staff were silent to the point of coldness; few explanations were offered for any of the dishes even when prompted, and the vibe was, "we're really fucking busy, man." During a business lunch time I can recognize that this is true, but I've never felt so roundly ignored as I did at Otto e Mezzo. 

8 1/2 Otto e Mezzo Interior

Packed-crowded on a weekday with business-lunchers of all stripes, the space felt dense and overcrowded. The atmosphere was loud but not jovial, and the restaurant felt like it was emphasizing how popular it was- the mirrored ceilings, big open windows, etc, all contributed to both the visual and audio noise that permeated every inch of the restaurant.

First bites: Bread, 4/10

I try hard not to judge restaurants too harshly on their bread, but this was an utterly uninteresting set of slices that could very easily have come from, say, a gas station. 4/10.

Course 1: Abalone + Caviar, 5/10

A pretty impressively-laid-out dish of caviar and abalone. The colors are beautiful and the caviar (from the Lombardy region of Italy), is zesty but pairs poorly with the abalone, which is more rubber tire than seafood. 5/10.

Course 2: Blue Lobster, 5/10

Blue lobster from Brittany, France. Vegetable chunks at the base add considerable depth. The colors are beautiful and the plating really holds together well, but the cooking falls short- lobster is rubbery and undercooked, so it's sad that it made its way across Eurasia for such poor treatment. 5/10.

Course 3: Pasta + Sea Urchin, 6/10

The textures for the pasta and the sea urchin- both extremely soft and creamy- pair up to create an excessively rich and decadent dish. It's difficult to taste the Uni as separate from the pasta's sauce, so a lot of those delicate flavors are lost. 6/10. 

Course 4: Pork, 8/10

I'll admit that the main dish- pork- is close to outstanding. The chef somehow creates an extremely tender, lamb-like texture, and the vegetables go along with the main perfectly- well cooked, balanced, pretty. 8/10.

Course 5: Strawberry, 10/10

This is the true high point of the meal- strawberry, cracker, and cream desert is world class. 10/10

Last Bites: Pancetta, 6/10

Last Bites: Milk Chocolate, 6/10

Last Bites: Butter-Bread, 6/10

Final Word: Espresso, 8/10

Last, a not-too-subtly branded cup of espresso. It's pretty tasty, but its a half-hour between emptying this cup and finally getting someone's attention to give me the check. Sigh.

Hong Kong- Lung King Heen- ✪✪✪

Though by no means a mediocre restaurant, I'll admit that Lung King Heen continued a trend I noticed in Hong Kong and Macau- I have no idea what makes this place special enough to deserve the third star. The space was pretty in a cold, corporate way, the service was attentive but not memorable, and the dishes were neither terribly inventive nor exceptionally executed. I can't bring myself to give them failing marks, but when I think about the pathologically amazing servers at Da Vittorio, the unbelievable colors and creativity in each dish at Gordon Ramsay, or the garden views at Hertog Jan I come away extremely confused as to how this place made any Michelin Inspector's heart sing. More to come on this topic, but my initial conclusion is that Michelin needs to do much more to level-set their grading format globally. 

Lung King Heen Main Entrance

HONG KONG, CHINA

SERVICE: 7.0/10

FOOD: 5.0/10

PRICE PAID: $210 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 6.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 6.0/10

Lung King Heen Exterior- Four Seasons Hotel

Lung King Heen is one of several restaurants and bars inside the Four Seasons hotel in Hong Kong, which it itself connected by walkway to the largest and fanciest shopping mall I have ever experienced called IFC. If you are a person who likes premium goods, I can't say I've ever visited a place that has more of them. 

Lung King Heen Interior

The restaurant's interior was subtle and slightly understated compared to some of my other Hong Kong experiences- lots of red, a wavy metal ceiling, ambiance lighting. As I mentioned earlier, I can't really find fault here besides the fact that it feels a touch like I'm on a cruise ship.

First Bites: Deep Fried Scallop + Pear + Yunnam Ham, 8/10

Xuanwei, in Southwestern China

The first bites are a delightful deep-fried ball of scallops, pears, and Yunnan ham. Yunnan ham is particularly prized - the small black pigs have the run of the steep river slopes, herb-filled meadows, and grassy valleys in this particularly pristine and gorgeous part of China. Other regions like Jinhua are similarly famous, but this more out-of-the way region is about as good as it gets. 8/10.

Course 1: Pork + Goose + Duck, 8/10

Next came a very good pork, goose, duck app combo. The pork is extremely tender and good. Duck is also excellent. Good texture, rich flavor. 8/10.

Course 2: Corn Soup + Lobster + Chicken, 6/10

Next, a sweet corn soup with lobster and minced chicken, with a roasted tomato in the center. The minced chicken texture is a great idea with the soft, round flavors in the corn soup, but the lobster gets a bit lost. 6/10.

Course 3: King Prawn, 4/10

This next course was enormous, and tough to approach- overwhelmingly yellow and fried. A King prawn simmered together with an underlayer of green leafy vegetables and bean sprout forms a pretty stout base. The seafood sauce was truly overwhelming and thick- and didn't add much beyond a ton of salt. Disappointing main dish. 4/10.

Course 4: Braised Abalone + Broccoli + Star Grouper Rolls + Oyster Sauce, 7/10

An interestingly presented dish- two rolls of "Star Garoupa" with a rich oyster sauce and a very mildly steamed stalk of broccoli. Lots of different textures- the barely-cooked broccoli contrasts nicely with the soft, rubbery abalone and the even softer fish rolls. 7/10.

Course 5: Wagyu Cubes + Mushroom, 8/10

Next up, some fantastic Australia-raised Wagyu beef cubes paired with fresh grilled vegetables, morel mushrooms and bell peppers. A big, hearty dish that felt a big like American comfort food- really rewarding dish but a bit big. 8/10.

Course 6: Chicken + Vegetable Dumpling Soup, 6/10

Warm, starchy, and a touch on the heavy side, the order of this dish didn't make a ton of sense after the massive, heavy Wagyu beef right before. I was expecting something lighter, refreshing, or perhaps even palate-cleansing, but this was basically another appetizer soup dish. Just fine as far as texture and flavor goes; a bit confusing. 6/10.

Course 6: Ginger Soup + Sweet Potato/Rice Dumplings, 7/10

This course definitely WAS on the more refreshing side of the spectrum, but with a big, hearty, starchy center to it. If the restaurant was concerned that I might leave hungry, they extinguished all possible concern with this last main dish. 7/10.

Final Bites: Fruit Gelatin + Biscuit, 7/10

What I'd call a hard stop for the end of the meal- a tiny dessert of fruit gelatin and a rice biscuit that was, at most, semi-sweet. Once again, I didn't really understand this transition, but it was an enjoyable plate. 7/10. 

Hong Kong- T'ang Court- ✪✪✪

Hong Kong's most recent arrival to the Three Star ranking, T'ang Court is in the Langham Hotel in what is affectionately known as TST (Tsim Sha Tsui, a main business district on the Peninsula side of Hong Kong). The name refers to the Tang Dynasty, and the restaurant's two rotating head chefs (Kwong Wei Keung and Tony Su) try to dutifully replicate the culinary achievements thereof. 

This is also the least-expensive Three Star I've been to yet. and that lower price seems to translate directly into lower quality, based on my experience here. 

It's one of only three Cantonese-style restaurants in the world with Three Star status (for now...), so I was very excited to try this place out. That excitement was misplaced. 

T'ang Court Main Entrance

HONG KONG, CHINA

SERVICE: 6.0/10

FOOD: 5.5/10

PRICE PAID: $45 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 8.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 6.5/10

$320 HKD? Yes please. That's about $41.

I must mention here that the set lunch is an unbelievable deal- $320 HKD is about $41, so even with the Hong Kong-required 10% service fee it's less than $50 for a 3-star experience. Oddly. a very similar set lunch is offered toward the back of the menu that had, to my imperfect judgment, 2-3 extra courses for a mere $3,000 HKD, about 10x the regular set lunch. Though I'm sure those extra courses were great, I opted to see what $41 can buy you in a world-class restaurant. 

T'ang Court Interior

To transport you as fully as I can to the vibe this restaurant generates, try to imagine a halfway house between Arabian Nights and a Midwestern Conference Room, complete with large-scale art prints and dramatic lighting. Exuberant & Awkward would be the kindest label one might apply. 

First (Bites?) Guava Juice, 6/10

The first question the waiter asks is whether I'd prefer Mango, Guava, or Orange juice. Guava felt pretty exotic, so that's where I landed. 6/10. Sugary, but clearly made by hand from actual guavas. A refreshing but, honestly, minimalist kickoff. 

Course 1: Sauces

Course 1: Rolls, 6/10 

Next out marched a very small procession of pork, shrimp, and spring rolls. All are quite good, but not a ton better than you'd get at a decent tea house or dim sum place, of which Hong Kong has thousands and even Chicago has dozens. Also, not to be a prick, but the presentation was a bit oily and splashy; could have been plated more neatly. 6/10.

Course 2: Goose + Pork + Jellyfish, 7/10

A really interesting combo of jellyfish, goose with plum sauce, and pork. The jellyfish tastes like bland, undercooked rice noodles, with the small slices of bell peppers adding a lot to the plain flavor profile. The pork is really good- perfectly cooked, and beautiful. The goose is rich and quite dense. 7/10 overall.

Course 3: Chicken + Fish + Black Mushroom Soup, 5/10

Some really interesting flavors in an otherwise bland soup. The broth has strong notes of, I kid you not, Coca Cola. The mushrooms themselves taste a lot like Budweiser beer- hoppy and barley-like. 5/10. 

Course 4: Garoupa + Broccoli, 3/10

This main course- Garoupa fish in soy sauce with Chinese broccoli- was, at best, pretty plain, and at worst badly cooked and carelessly plated. Once again, a landing strip of soy sauce greased the fish's path as it was tossed on by someone who did not give a shit how it ends up looking. Unevenly cooked and with a halfhearted attempt at steamed veggies that doesn't really even things out. 3/10.

Course 5: Rice + Shrimp + Scallop + Crab, 8/10

This dish nearly saved things. The shrimp in this dish pops with delightful freshness- feels like crunching a million small air bubbles in your mouth. 8/10.

Final Bites: "T'ang Court Delight," 3/10

Cheekily titled the "T'ang Court Delight," I'm unclear on what exactly could be delightful an egg custard with the rock-solidness of a goddamned billiard ball such that one almost chips one's tooth upon at the first bite. The heart shape was weird- it was November, nowhere near Valentine's, and I was a bit stunned that this was their idea of dessert. 3/10.

The Bill

The check, charmingly, is presented in a chromed-up metal box that makes JUST THE MILDEST POINT EVER that you have dined in a fancy place and everyone who isn't grabbing said check needs to be impressed with you. Hilarious to me that this is, by far, the least-expensive Three Star I have yet been to, putting it on track to be the cheapest Three Star in the world. Just sayin'.

Hong Kong- Bo Innovation- ✪✪✪

Alvin Leung, Hong Kong's culinary wunderkind, is actually nicknamed The Demon Chef, which is a pretty badass nickname and totally incongruous with the extremely humbly-presented, delicious meal I experienced at his flagship restaurant in Wan Chai. 

Bo Innovation Exterior

HONG KONG, CHINA

SERVICE: 9.0/10

FOOD: 9.5/10

PRICE PAID: $340PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 8.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 9.0/10

Bo Innovation private elevator

The restaurant shares a private elevator with a Thai place right below, and has a pretty amazing fire-heated terrace outside. We opted to sit at the Chef's Table, which gives an intimate view into the main cold-line and prep areas. In general, Leung and his staff do a lot without much space. 

Bo Innovation- view of the kitchen from the Chef's Table

A quick note on service- I was terrifically impressed with our chef/server/curator Derek, who not only ran the prep table but would also serve us with a breathless and carefully-detailed vignette for each and every one of the almost two dozen dishes he would present us. I was impressed by his storytelling and his clear gift for fine cooking; rare to see both in one human. 

First bites: Waffle Bread/Cracker, 8/10

Hong Kong's streets are thronged with food vendors, and among the most unique and fascinating are the egg waffle vendors. These crispy, crunchy treats are broken apart by hand, and the distinctive bubbles are filled with air. This first bite was a nod to the uniquely Hong Kong staple, and set the mood that Alvin would be telling us a story about his hometown. 

Course 1: "Air," Rose foam, 10/10

Continuing the description of the hometown, a lovely dish called "air." Or, more specifically, "fog," with a flowing stream of chilled vapor flowing from the dry ice beneath. The foam in the spoons had delicious rose flavors. 10/10, creative, interesting, good showmanship, terrific flavors.

Course 2: "Caviar," 7/10

The next dish showed up on a beautiful metal sculpture and caviar go together well, though the tarot is a touch heavy. 7/10.

Course 3: "Oyster," 8/10

This beautifully-plated oyster is bright, saline, and refreshing. It pairs perfect with green Sichuan sauce and the beef tongue. I have to admit that I ate in two bites, though I'm pretty sure that's not the design intention. The peppercorn is a touch spicy. 8/10

Course 4: "Bamboo," 9/10

Chuh Yeh Ching Whiskey

This foie gras dish is cooked for 48 hrs, and it is a fantastic contrast to the hard crunchy bamboo. It's glazed in a miso sauce made of Chuh Yeh Ching Whiskey, which gives it a touch of fire. Pickled indian lettuce stem, green apple rounds out the green theme here. 9/10.

Course 5: "Umami," 9/10

Har Mi Sauce

Okay, the "umami-" otoro (really fatty) tuna is completely outstanding. Seared perfectly to remain soft, yet unbelievably rich and flavorful. We are offered some Har Mi oil to add additional umami flavor, and sure enough it really pours it on. 

The noodles are shrimp-y and not too terribly oily, but don't add much. 9/10.

Course 6: "Baby Food," 10/10

Course 6: The Baby Food container

Course 6: "Baby Food," with custom-made label 10/10

Perhaps my favorite and most creative dish of my whole experience thus far- a jar of baby food with custom-designed hairy crab logo (hairy crab is in season in late November in HKO). Great texture, deep flavors that really take advantage of the tasty crab proteins and texture. 10/10.

Course 7: "Molecular," 10/10

... This was followed by, quite possibly, my next-favorite dish of the entire experience, a "molecular dim sum explosion," made to imitate a Cha Siu bao (pork bun). Very rich- you can taste the bun even! 10/10

This next course, I will admit, was a real challenge. Bathed in a bowl of liquid nitrogen which is poured casually from an industrial container kept in the corner, this tiny ball of spicy-hot ginger is rolled around in the frozen liquid and then handed off for quick consumption. Of course, the contrast of the super-cold ginger with the spiciness of the bite itself is pretty interesting, but I have to admit that it froze the hell out of the tip of my tongue, and it took a few days for me to get 100% of the sensation back. 8/10.

Course 9: "Tomato," 7/10

With a sauce based on Pat Chun black rice vinegar, this gamely-named dish of "Tomato" features tomatoes in very different preparations from left to right. Leftmost is a tomato marshmallow, or maybe tomato foam is a better title. The middle is based on fermented Chinese olives; the texture doesn't work perfectly so I'm not crazy about it. The roasted tomato on the right is fresh and delicious. 7/10 overall.

Course 10: "White Truffle," 9/10

White Alba Truffles in a Cake Display

Before serving this next dish, they brought around a Kia's worth of white Alba truffles in glass cake-case to show off. 

Duck egg, white truffle, Chinese dumpling all are totally amazing. The white truffle in particular is even more outstanding. My only problem with the whole thing is that I can feel my arteries hardening as I eat- it is insanely rich. 9/10.

Course 11: "Blue Lobster," 9/10

Shaosing Sauce

Next, a beautiful slice of blue lobster that practically falls apart at the touch of a fork. A Sichuan hollandaise off to the side (in case you wanted to make it even more decadent) and coated in a broth of chili and Shaosing cooking sauce. Chinese leek, peas, and roasted corn round things out. A nice light break from the weight of the previous courses. 9/10.

Course 12: "Mao Tai," 9/10

Moutai Liquor

Next, a palate cleanser "King's Cup" (meaning you have to hold it with both hands and tip your head back to consume- not sure what makes that kingly). Alcohol and passion fruit flavors are very strong, as is hawthorn and lemongrass. 9/10.

Course 13: "Abalone," 9/10

Lacquerello Risotto

Using special 9-year-aged risotto rice that is sole-sourced directly from a farm in Italy (Derek told the whole story about how the farmer was dining in the restaurant, met the chef, convinced the chef to try his risotto, chef decided to buy all the risotto the farmer had grown), the chef creates what is essentially a deconstructed congee. You can really taste the difference in the rice- I'm not sure I'd call this the Ferrari of rice but lacking similarly hyperbolic descriptions for basic starches I'm going to roll with it. 

Course 14: "Saga-Gyu," 10/10

This next course was a fun wagyu and dumpling soup combined with a ton of black truffle. Derek mentioned that these are a play on "Cheong Fun," or dim sum rice noodles, and so yet another chapter in the Demon Chef's Hong Kon story. All I can say is that this tasted very little like dim sum, and was totally outstanding. 10/10.

Course 15: "Coconut," 9/10

Finally getting into the dessert courses, this one reminded me intensely of Alinea's desserts. Deconstructed coconut with pina colada snow; sweet, strong cherry flavors, decadent, totally great. 9/10. 

8 Treasures Tea, 8/10

8 Treasures Brownie, 8/10

The final dessert courses was a really fun interpretation of 8 Treasures Tea, one of the most popular of thousands of Chinese herbal medicines that includes relatively run-of-the-mill ingredients like green tea, goji berries, ginseng, etc. The brownie and the tea are both made from the same components, a fun and crowd-pleasing way to explain this traditional piece of Hong Kong culture. Once again, I applaud the creativity and showmanship; flavors were okay but not great as this felt a bit like shoehorning an idea into a dish. 8/10.

Mignardises, 8/10

Mignardises, 8/10

Mignardises were a lovely final touch. Easily one of the best meals, if not the best meal, of the whole journey. 

Hong Kong- L'Atelier de Joël Robuchon- ✪✪✪

With its distinctive brightly-colored ingredient displays, shiny reflective surfaces, bright red furniture, and seasonally-appropriate panoramas inside the chef's counter, Robuchon's 3-Star restaurant in Hong Kong delivered a quality (if predictable, and somewhat overly traditional) French meal. The dining room wraps around the kitchen in a nice, transparent setup that makes you feel like an observer (but definitely not a participant). Fascinatingly, throughout the entire meal, the head chef barks at his staff in French, and they reply. 

Joel Robuchon Interior

HONG KONG, CHINA

SERVICE: 7.5/10

FOOD: 7.0/10

PRICE PAID: $98 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 8.0/10

FINAL SCORE: 7.5/10

The Mall Interior- decked out for the holidays

Main Elevator Entrance

Set inside The Landmark, likely the nicest mall in Hong Kong (a good clue is that Otto E Mezzo, another 3-Star, is right across the hall), L'Atelier is up a set of escalators that sit idly until we trip their proximity sensor and they smoothly start up, bringing us up the short flight. A very nice team of three people greets us and takes us to our seats at the counter.

An Enormous Cornucopia of Bread, 8/10

A Hockey Puck of Butter, 8/10

As many of you know, I tend to obsess over bread, so I got pretty fired up about this bread basket. Every conceivable variety of European breads, accompanied by some damn fine butter. 8/10. 

First Bites: Soup + Foie Gras, 8/10

The amuse-bouche came out next- a small soup with Parmesan foam and a base of foie gras. Heavy but flavorful. The small, deep-fried ball of bread was extremely tasty. 8/10 overall.

Course 1: Chilled Corn Soup, 8/10

Next, a very pretty presentation of chilled corn soup- Japanese sweet corn for extra sweetness, smoked duck breast for saltiness, chili powder for spice, and popcorn for crunchy texture. Textures and flavors all pulled together extremely well, and the dish was served quite cold. My only complaint was that this was a huge quantity of soup, but I guess that can't be too bad of a thing. 8/10.

Course 2: "Le Homard" soup, 7/10

Le Homard soup with a clear, somewhat spicy broth, with strong flavors of ginger and celery. The dumplings are prepared in "Tsukune" style; basically a meatball typically skewered and grilled over charcoal in yakitori restaurants, and typically made with chicken. The dumplings have a "squeaky" texture that feels like they're full of hundred of tiny air bubbles; a very cool effect. The lobster itself is okay- chewy and not terribly flavorful. The flowers off to the left are kind of neat but give the impression that someone was just sort of trimming the hedges and had a pretty stalk left over that they decided to toss next to the soup for no particular reason. I'm trying to say that it looked nice in the same way that any brightly colored thing would have looked nice, and didn't make a ton of sense. 7/10.

Course 3: "Le Riz" - Risotto + Saffron, 8/10

Flagrantly saffron-ed, this risotto was danced up with a pretty excellent collection of seaweed, lettuce, and pimiento peppers (the ones that flavor pimento cheese). Rich, big mouthfeel from all the cauliflower and broccoli pieces, which are on the underdone side, which actually further enhances texture. Very fun. 8/10.

Course 4: Challans Duck, 6/10

The main dish- a Challans duck (known for its tenderness- they grow up along the canals near Vendée in France on a diet of snails and tadpoles, so they're usually pretty tasty). Overall, surprisingly undercooked- I nearly sent it back for another go on the grill. 6/10. A disappointing main dish.

Course 5: Le Chocolat, 7/10

A lovely brick of crispy chocolate with ice cream, nuts, carefully-cut leaf-shaped crisps, and, hey, why not, a small folded bit of silver paper. 7/10.

Last Bites- Petit Fours, Pâte de Fruits, 8/10

Lovely, extremely fresh Petit Fours/Macarons/Pâte de Fruits. Bright raspberry flavors from the Pâte de Fruits. 8/10.

Coffee

Cream + Caramel 

I don't usually partake, but they offered complimentary coffee on the way out, which was completely lovely. All in all, a pretty amazing meal for less than $100!