Germany- Waldhotel Sonnora- Three Stars in 2019

DREIS, GERMANY (SOUTHWEST), APRIL 2017

SERVICE: 7.0/10

FOOD: 7.5/10

PRICE PAID: $230PP (INCL. WATER, TAX, AND BOTTLE OF RIESLING)

VALUE/MONEY: 76.0/10

FINAL RATING: 7.5/10

A long and gorgeous drive from Frankfurt Airport, Waldhotel's unbelievably traditional (staid, even) facility sits, true to its name, in the middle of a forest. Replete with weird statues, a somewhat mossy and overgrown pond/garden, and God's Own Quantity of signs directing us to the hotel from miles out.

My visit came only a few months before the very sad passing of Helmut Thieltges, head chef of the restaurant since 1978 and winner of three Michelin stars since 1999; in 2017, he had held them for 18 years.

Am I the only one that think the cursive-metal above the entrance smacks of Western Ranch? Just me?

If you like Midwestern country clubs, you will absolutely fucking love Waldhotel Sonnora. Hundreds of pounds of draperies, carpets, linens and napkins line every surface like a thick mask of makeup. Flowers abound.

Everything was heavy, silver, marble, linen, and crystal. I like this place but the feeling one gets is that of being weighted down.

First Bites: Cream Vichysoisse with Caviar, Smoked Eel, Jelly of Oxtail, 9/10

As we are seated at exactly noon, a large church bell rings powerfully what feels like inside the dining room. It is shockingly loud, like an airplane taking off 10 feet away. None of the staff seem to acknowledge it.

First bites are a cream vichysoisse with caviar, smoked eel, and jelly of oxtail. The cream is dense, rich, earthy, and the caviar is really fresh. A great, but perhaps rich, start. 9/10.

We are also offered a glass of Josef Rosch Riesling, which is made in a dry style and has a lovely petroleum flavor (I mean that in the nicest way possible).

Next, we are brought a loaf of sliced baguette and salted butter. In what I am soon to understand is the theme of the restaurant, the butter is super rich, with a big mouthfeel. 9/10.

First Bites: Gillardeau Oyster + Tuna Tartare +

As a second amuse bouche, three small plates arrive. From left to right-

A bacon-fish-praline ball with mango chutney. Convincing Asian influence. 8/10. Very similar to the Thai classic dish golden bags!
Tuna tartare "cannelloni." Unbelievably fresh for rural Germany. 9/10.
Gillardeau oyster marinated with peppermint. Cold but not ice cold- peppermint leaves are crispy they're so fresh; the mint really dominated the oyster to the point of being overpowering, 7/10. The feeling is similar to if I had I just rolled around in a mint garden.

Confusingly, yet more bread is brought over, in what I'm going to label a fairly crappy bread tray. It looks like someone baked a tranche of half-assed breads and then sort of dumped them unceremoniously into a woven basket. Crumbs everywhere. Terrible presentation. 4/10.

Course 1: Galantine of Goose Liver with Nuts, Madeira jelly, 9/10

This next course was absolutely delicious but (unintentionally?) dark as hell. A plate with a goose staring plaintively back at a preparation of its liver (one interpretation, anyway) with a ring of jelly. The crunchy baked tube to the right is full of what tastes like sugary raspberry jam (turns out its made from grapes and old Madeira) with pear underneath, and the sweetness pairs just about perfectly with the rich, rich goose liver. Technically perfect execution, but once again must the goose be staring at its own innards as they are presented to you? 9/10.

Course 2: Beef Tartare with Imperial Gold Caviar + Grated Potatoes, 5/10

Next up, beef tartare in the shape of a slice of pie with Imperial Gold Caviar. Imagine a slice of cake that tastes like sour cream and onion chips. Rich, heavy, and again rich. I feel as though I just ate a cup of ranch dressing. 5/10.

Course 3: Turbot + Morels + Pine Spinach, 8/10

Continuing the Extremely Extremely Rich Presentations, some Turbot with morel mushrooms in a decadent butter sauce. Heavy red wine flavors. Underneath, a bed of steamed spinach bed with pine nuts. Big and rich, but I guess that’s the game we’re playing here. 8/10.

Course 4: Langoustine + Ice Wine Sauce , 7/10

As I look around, I notice that the restaurant 2/3rds empty at 1:25pm on a weekend…

Next up, Langoustine both sweet and well-prepared, balanced nicely with ice wine sauce. Some parts are overly salted, leading to an uneven experience. The Chicory in the sauce gives a nice umami, and the arugula flavors are a touch overly-strong. 7/10.

Course 5: Rack & Cutlet of Limousin Lamb

Next, lamb from Limousin with asparagus and a “pimento-hollandaise” with bell pepper. We are given a mercifully small portion, because by now we have eaten at least six sticks of butter. Beautiful fresh lamb though; earthy, grassy, and fresh. 9/10.

In a custom-made cart with a large slab of pink marble, many German cheeses are wheeled over. I select a handful of soft cow’s, aged Gouda, Munster, and Savarin slices. 8/10.

For the first dessert, “Iced coffee” ice cream made from Arabica beans; unbelievably rich and delicious. My assessment: slightly better than coffee Haagen-Dazs, but that’s the gold standard. 8/10.

Course 8: “Delice” of Strawberry and Rhubarb, 8/10

Appropriate for the late-Spring visit; a “delice” of Strawberry and rhubarb with a healthy helping of marzipan. 8/10.

Finally, a small tray of patisseries arrive, which are mercifully small. 8/10.